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WOMEN & WORK

erin

POSTED: Wed, 10/07/2009 - 11:23am

Working Moms

How many of you are a full time employee AND a full-time Mom?  What do you do for a living?  How many kids do you have?  How do you find balance?  We want to hear from you! Share your advice, your struggles and your triumphs! 

jas	POSTED: Wed, 09/28/2011 - 6:49am Jenny May I looked at your blog, but there didn't seem to much of you on there...it seemed all about buying things, and someone else's definition of fashion.

JennyMay

POSTED: Mon, 03/28/2011 - 8:45pm Hi - Balance in HomeMaking Hi, I have devoted an entire Blog to find balance and Mirelle's books have been a huge companion and reference to my site...Check it out...www.the21stcenturyhousewife.com. I think you will like how I have been learning to balance the demands of working outside the home and also enjoying my role within the home. I also love to cook and to eat....so there are a lot of recipes and ideas on how to clean, organize, cook, and just be a happy homemaker, even while working 30 hrs per week. I love Mirelle's, or the French way of Dining...and have lost 9 lbs incorporating her ideas into my diet. Bon Jour! JennyMay

jenny_06

POSTED: Tue, 09/27/2011 - 10:23pm Working Mom's Modest and Feminine 21stCenturyStyle Blog Bonjour Mesdames! www.Modest21stcenturyStyle.blogspot.com JennyMay has blossomed into the still working mother of 5, now 6, since my daughter has married and realized my true passion. Accessories...Fashion....and incorporating femininity into my very 21st century life. Fact is, it is just plain fun to wear makeup, accessories, and feel feminine. When we do. We take care of ourselves and can truly live the style of life Ms Mireille writes so elloquently about. I have ALL her books and have done many of the recipes...SO simple and delicious...check them out on my other site. www.the21stcenturyhousewife.com Ms Mireille changed our lives...I have lost 10 pounds and my husband lost 50 along with that he has reversed his severe heart disease! This works. Kisses, Jenny

MrsKoller

POSTED: Fri, 05/21/2010 - 12:54pm Superwoman is a Wuss Honestly, I have no idea how I get through the day. I run my own travel agency and with the current economy, I have had to work twice as hard to keep and maintain clients. Then I go home to three kids (Megan - 16, Stephan - 11, and Jasmeen - 8) who all want my attention. Cooking actually helps me feel human again because I LOVE to cook and since I make almost everything from scratch, the kids are learning too. This helps because now they can help with the chopping and other prep work before I get home and they love doing it too. It's how my grandmother did it so it is ingrained in to my system as well. Every now and then, I do take time for myself. My oldest daughter and I have "spa night" where we do nothing but pamper ourselves from top to bottom. I also do yoga - helps keep me balanced and reduce stress - and meditation. Actually even though I am incredibly busy, I love my life and wouldn't trade it for anything.

Karin L

POSTED: Mon, 02/08/2010 - 12:46pm Working Mom I am a full time mom and work full time as a lecturer at a University in the UAE. I have one daughter and one step daughter.I find balance by sending the kids off to friends or with their dad and going to the spa for a day of pampering. Everyday I also take me time in the bath or shower... I don't always have the time to read a good book but find that after the kids are in bed I have at least an hour of relaxing so I read then.

rosie_5

POSTED: Sun, 04/11/2010 - 2:17pm working from home... any ideas? Hello ladies, I have been following reading your posts for over a year now and have finally joined the discussions. I try to follow a French lifestyle and have been relativley successful--weighing 10 kilos less 5 months after 2nd baby than before 1st baby. With lots of good food and some chocolate! I am writing to ask for help--I live in Santiago, Chile, but am moving to the States in June, to where I grew up. I have 2 small girls, ages 2.5 years and 5 months. I will have to work until my Chilean husband can get a job, but I am desperate to not work full-time away from home. I can't bear the the thought of leaving my little ones. My oldest is in daycare part-time now while I care for the little one, and she loves it! She sings lovely songs to me in Spanish, and I hope to be able to put her in a nice daycare part-time when we arrive. Here in Santiago I do editing (in English), a little translation (Spanish-English) and some English teaching. Any advice on what I can do in the States? Maybe start a home-based business doing the same? I have been thinking about selling things like Avon, Silpada jewelry, etc. I would love suggestions. Or even just a bit of encouragement--I am so nervous about what we will do, about how things will turn out. (And I think I also have a bt of PTSD after the earthquake.) Thank you.

julie s.

POSTED: Sat, 05/01/2010 - 4:21pm Hi Rosie Rosie, I know what you mean about not wanting to leave your children.My daughter is seven and I have never had her in child care, not even for one day. Working from home can be wonderful if you find the right type of work. Where in the States will you be moving to in June? I live in Southern California. Julie

JennyMay

POSTED: Tue, 08/10/2010 - 11:30am Working from Home Hi Rosie - yes you can find work from home, or just a 20-30 hr per week job. Anything is possible! Visit my blog for some ideas...I successfully changed my work hours from 40+ to 30...got rid of my annoying cell phone, and shop sales and cook a lot from home to save us money. http://the21stcenturyhousewifeproject.blogspot.com/ Maybe this will help to encourage you! Sincerely, JennyMay

rosie_5

POSTED: Wed, 05/05/2010 - 2:51pm @Julie--We'll be moving in @Julie--We'll be moving in with my family just north of Baltimore. Two summers in a row! I want to try to get a teaching job so I can have nice long vacations if I can't figure out a work-at-home job. DO you work at home? @Jeannie--of course I'm not waiting until the last minute! I'm not a very organized person, but am not a procrastinator, either. I have only a few clothes to pack for the girls and I--they grow too quickly to take much and I have shrunk so that none of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit.

Vintage1944

POSTED: Wed, 05/05/2010 - 8:09pm Hi Rosie Good luck in the move.You have the right idea...take only esentials.No,I do not work from home,as I am a nurse.A teaching job is a great idea.Could you do tutoring from home?You could set your own schedule.Jean

Vintage1944

POSTED: Thu, 04/15/2010 - 5:40pm WElcome Rosie Big changes coming in your life ,and on the heels of many changes.I can only offer you support and encouragement.Hopefully,some of the fine womwn here will have some ideas for working from home/part - time.You have many interesting skills.I am delighted you joined us.I wish you and your family the best.Hope to hear more from you,soon.Jean

rosie_5

POSTED: Wed, 04/28/2010 - 5:45pm Thank you, Jean I have been on vacation in the South of Chile--volcanos, blue lakes, all completely lovely and even though they have internet cafés I disconnected from the world to be alone with my family. We leave Santiago on 6 June so I am starting to pack and give away all the things I won't be taking with me. A little too busy at the moment to think about my work future, but it's always there... looming. I know I can get a job, but my while watching my 2-year-old try to pick up giant rocks to throw into the lake almost made me cry because I thought I would have to leave her all day. She kept saying, "Muy grande. No puedo." (Very big. I can't.)

Vintage1944

POSTED: Sat, 05/01/2010 - 10:09pm Hi Your moving date is getting really close.how's the packing and sort out going ?Oh I do truly pray you won't have to leave her all day.Please,keep in touch as time permits. Jean

violette

POSTED: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 12:26am Bonjour Karin L Welcome! That's so nice you can have a spa day every now and then! What a treat! And ah yes our baths------couldn't do without those either. With a nice bath oil. Has anyone tried the Kneipp herbals? They're superb!

Vintage1944

POSTED: Mon, 02/08/2010 - 10:59pm Hi Karin The UAE?Do you live there year round?You do have a busy life and good for you for taking me tme.So necessary for balance and health.

Karin L

POSTED: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 4:25am Life in the UAE Thank you for the warm and wonderful welcome. I have lived in the UAE for the past 6 years now. I came here because I needed a challenge and wanted to live a little. I had just gotten married to a wonderful man and was preparing to settle down and become a good wife and mother. I felt a little stifled because it seemed that all I had everdone was what was expected of me. Then an opportunity presented itself to teacha t a girls private school in the UAE. With the support of my new hubby I jetted off. He joined me 6 months later. At first it was frightening, living and working in such a conservative society. I had to rethink alot of my perceptions of the Arab world. I had to rethink alot of my wardrobe! But the change did me good. Once I put my somewhat skewed perceptions aside, I made tons of friends with the locals. I found that they had some misconceptions of their own about Western women. Six years later I still love living here. I love the weather(the only times that aren't hot are winter evenings. The Desert nights are pretty chilly!), the people, the culture,the traditions and the ease of life here. People accept you for who you are not what you do. When I fell pregnant with my daughter, I didn't have any family around to help with the niggly little things that crop up...my Emirati family stepped in quite nicely. They passed down generations of advice,tips and tricks. I was supported in a way that is hard to explain....they really love pregnancy! Me time is really necessary here. Between work and family, there is really little time to one's self. But the women of the Middle EAst are super-groomed and take the time for a weekly mani/pedi/massage. If I didn't make me time I would feel like Jabba the HUt...no really. Fortunately there are tons of salons around and the prices are relatively cheap. I have my favorite and make an attempt to go twice a month for a mani/pedi/facial/massage. It's been fun telling you about the UAE, is it TMI?

Blue Belle

POSTED: Tue, 02/16/2010 - 7:37pm Thank you for sharing Karin Thank you for sharing Karin L! I can't imagine what a fascinating journey this has been for you. Its nice to know that no matter where we live or what culture we are a part of that we as women can bond and find common ground.

violette

POSTED: Fri, 01/29/2010 - 5:07pm How to find a job that you love doing????? I am struggling now to look for a full-time job that is something I love doing. But I don't know what. I used to be in the field of law and it was good money but I hated it. I do not want to go back to it. It was stressful "paper shuffling" and my soul drowned doing it. Then I got my license to do facials (an esthetician) but they only seem to be hiring Armenians in my town sadly, and I cannot find work anywhere these days, or for the past few years, as droves of Armenians have moved in to my area, and this seems to be the work they all do, and they only want to hire their own nationality. Sadly. This nationality has seemed to take over this profession, literally, simply consume it. So now what? I am at a real crossroads in my life with an impending divorce on the horizon and wondering what in the world I can do at my age? 53. I have discovered that life is simply too short to do something I hate. Has anyone had to make a career change? And how did you manage it? How did you find it? Look forward to your replies.

violette

POSTED: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 12:31am Update: Update: Hubby and I giving it another try........yippee.....am so relieved......we need each other in our old age......and we're friends....he's sorry, and I've forgiven him, but still, I need to look for a job, at least I'm not so desperate now......I think it's such a good thing though, and a necessary thing, to have something we women DO outside of our marriages. I sure learned this. HUGE LESSON~ I am hopeful God will bring me the job I am meant to do. Am still applying for so many jobs. Wish me luck everybody! Am hopeful, as soon as my cold is over, I'll find something~ Life is good~ Bonsoir~

Jeanette

POSTED: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 12:30pm WOOHOO!!! I hope that WOOHOO!!! I hope that everything works out exactly the way you want it to!

violette

POSTED: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 8:02pm Thank you so much dear Jeanette! Really appreciate the good wishes! I hope so too! 22 years of marriage is not worth giving up, IMO! Take Care! Violette~

violette

POSTED: Tue, 02/09/2010 - 12:31am Update: Update: Hubby and I giving it another try........yippee.....am so relieved......we need each other in our old age......and we're friends....he's sorry, and I've forgiven him, but still, I need to look for a job, at least I'm not so desperate now......I think it's such a good thing though, and a necessary thing, to have something we women DO outside of our marriages. I sure learned this. HUGE LESSON~ I am hopeful God will bring me the job I am meant to do. Am still applying for so many jobs. Wish me luck everybody! Am hopeful, as soon as my cold is over, I'll find something~ Life is good~ Bonsoir~

trixie

POSTED: Wed, 01/20/2010 - 7:55am Working Mum Hi, I used to be employed as a CEO and had a baby at the time and was always very very busy. Luckily I have a supportive husband and we had a nanny. But it was hard and I went on several holidays where my husband had to pack my suitcase! Now I am an entrepreneur starting my own business and working from home. I am actually very very busy too. But since I am at home most times I can have a chat with my 3 year old son when he gets back from nursery. I can pick him up or drop him off. We always cook fresh food every day and that is a really nice thing to do and gives me a break. I also make sure I sit with my son when he eats. Overall it is very tiring and busy. It is important to have things to look forward too as a family day out at the weekend, a holiday, inviting friends around, going to a nice restaurant etc. I go to bed quite early every day - around 10:00pm. That keeps me fresh. I wish I would have more discipline sometimes as in tidying etc. But I enjoy my house every night for an hour or so when my husband and I sit down with a nice glass of wine in the sitting room. However there are also moments where I feel unproductive and lonely so I must dig myself out of these dips - and my son and husband help by just being with me and asking me to play :) - now back to work...

violette

POSTED: Thu, 12/10/2009 - 2:13pm I used to be a working mom ...... Bonjour to all friends today: I used to be a working mom, working in the field of law, for years......not anymore. I quit when our 2nd child was born, ummmm maybe 15 years ago now, well full-time work, but I do do some part time work still. I, for me personally found out that we women cannot "have it all", that something will eventually suffer, and this, because we are all so fabulous and capable is, usually our children and our families. One of my values is my family first, so this is why I quit working full-time, for the most part. Although there are many times when I really struggle with this and my choice. It has made me much more dependent upon my husband which I am not used to; it has made me dependent upon his income, yet, it has enabled me to have waaaay more time at home with my kids, to cook, to be a mom, to instill, I think very good values, my values with my family. I love to cook, and IMO, every woman who has a career has no time to even cook for her family. I do not want to succomb to this. One of my values in my life is to cook and have a home-cooked meal for my boys, as often as possible.WHEN I had a full-time job, even recently, I was simply TOO tired to even do such, therefore we ordered a lot of take out. I don;t like this all too much, as I enjoy cooking for my family.For me, and my life, anyway you view it, once had kids, it was waaaaay TOO stressful to work and be a good mom too. And it didn't work out for me.

scuban06

POSTED: Fri, 01/08/2010 - 6:47pm Working Mother and Proud of It Cannot have it all??? Why not? I am an attorney blessed with lots of energy to pursue both happy family and career. I have 2 beautiful little girls (ages 5 and 7). They key for us is maintaining a firm schedule, but allowing for some flexibility depending on what is thrown at us during the day. I start my day at 430 am for 1/2 hour of yoga or a walk (most days my husband will join me), the girls usually wake up on their own around 530 am and are off to school (before school care) by 615 am. I am in to work by 7 am and put in about 10 hours before heading home. For lunch I usually go for a short walk (the farmer's market for fresh fruits/veggies is my destination on Tues and Fri) or to the gym. My husband and/or I pick up the girls by 530 pm and, after homework, we all enjoy cooking dinner together (the girls usually make quite a mess, but there's no better way for them to learn and they obviously have fun doing it). Absolutely no TV/video games in the house to distract. In addition we take evening/weekend classes - golf and ballroom dancing lessons for my husband and I, tahitian and swimming lessons for the girls. We are loving life! I understand everyone is different and personal/family dynamics are different, but, as for my family, we love being on the go and I believe my children will learn not only the value of education and work, but maximizing family time, exercise, nutrition/cooking, etc.

violette

POSTED: Fri, 01/15/2010 - 7:53pm Working Moms..... Bonjour Scuban06: Your story above is truly an inspiration! Thank you! You must be wired differently than me, and younger too, (LOL) when you had your kids than I was maybe. I was in my 30's when I had all my kids. Were you in your 20's? Maybe age plays a part. Dunno. What do you think? It's amazing how we women are all so different! You manage to do it all! and work much into your life, along with working full time in the field of law as I did! I was in awe of your story above.! How you seem so happy with your life. AWESOME!!!! I was not. By the time I had my children, having already worked for over 10 years, I was stressed out all the time, too tired, had no time to cook on a nightly basis for my family, and it just was too much pressure for me. I was pooped. You are different. Younger. I say just wait to you...wait 10-12 years then you'll need to re-assess as we all do of course..... I think your story tells all us women that when we are "comfortable in our own skin", as Mirelle says, how this is the most important, and knowing our limitations, then we can truly embrace who we are, and what we're meant to do. And be happy doing it. I just found for me, (well considering I'd already been working in my profession for over 10 years) that, at that time in my life, when I had my children, (over 30), that quantity time with my kids was more important than quality time, as they say. So nice hearing from you~ Where do you live?

violette

POSTED: Fri, 01/15/2010 - 8:13pm Scuban 06: I urge you to re-think..... After I just posted I thought of what I wanted to say, and since there is no edit feature here, (wish there was), herein I write another post. I hope to do not take offense to this but I feel I must offer my opinion in what I have learned in my life of being in the field of law, and having kids, etc.....too and raising a family amidst the workings of a professional home with a seriously working, wage-earning mom....just like you.... First off, you will never get these years back with your girls, never....going on their field trips with their classes, doing all the mom stuff, they will be gone forever. Know this. Next, your kids need you. Not just 3 hours a day, but all day. They need YOU to be there when they are sick, need you to be there to make dinner nightly, not take out, not a maid service, but YOU. I had money coming out of my ears when I was working, it did not fulfill me. I ordered take out and we ate out much of the time. I remember once my son said, "mom can you pick me and Eddie up tomorrow and take us to McDonalds"? I said no honey, you know I work till 6. This crushed me to my heart. I do not want to put you on a guilt trip, I just would like to share a part of my life and what I have learned along my journey, that being this time when your kids are small will never be here again. Do not forget this. Do not be brainwashed into thinking "it's the quality time that counts not the quantity"....this is not true,. It's the quantity of time spent that kids in their early formative years need friend. I missed all of it because of my high profile job. I missed taking care of my own kids. I left them with my mother in law or in day care. What a mistake! I should have been there. It is a myth thinking a family is adequate in taking care of our children. It is not. They need their mother and father. Please, re-think is the money worth it? Losing valuable time time your kids? re-think this, is all I ask.

madameboux

POSTED: Wed, 12/30/2009 - 2:31pm Worked outside the home, now do a bit of both! Bonjour mes amies :) I am new on the boards. I am a wife and mom of three (10, 4, and 2) children and I live in central Canada. I worked full time outside the home until 2005 when my 2nd child was born. I worked from home exclusively (home daycare and mommy duties) until March 2009. Now, I host a talk radio show on a local station in my city. Some evenings I am out doing production meetings, but I also do my research and show prep, including production work from my dining room table at home. It hasn't been easy at times, but I've learned to really enjoy it. I've learned to balance home/business by delegating some home duties (like housework) to an agency, and I schedule my work day as though I were still working in a company office. One way I've taken back time for myself and put my health into balance is through exercise, better eating habits (thank you to "French Women Don't Get Fat" for the wonderful lifestyle tips). I'm in my mid 30s and after three kids, it takes a more mindful effort for me to stay looking and feeling healthy. Nice to meet you all!

Vintage1944

POSTED: Thu, 12/31/2009 - 3:28pm Very nice.. to meet you,too.Happy New Year my fellow Canadian!Welcome to the site. Jean

mireille

POSTED: Thu, 12/10/2009 - 10:29pm Working mom or not Bravo, Violette.  You actually sound like a typical French woman: quality of personal life comes first and cooking too.  Wow. You obviously made the right choice and the phrase I like best is "instill good values" which is vital and too often neglected in our overly hectic 21st century. We do live our lives in phases and stages and it's important to know why and how we live. Cheers, Mireille

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