POSTED: Wed, 06/24/2009 - 10:57pm

Why cant I just DO it?

Hello firstly, Im new here, and new to FWDGF. I heard of it for the first time a few weeks ago in fact. I live in the Channel Islands in the UK, and I am 19. I do hope you will listen to my ramblings and offer some advice. It will be appreciated! :) This programme in theory should be easy for me to follow. This is because: a) I have a wonderful cook for a mother who is originally mediterranean, and cooks delicious and varied meals packed with vegetables, soup and salad every day, not to mention wonderful cakes. Dinner time is a ritual I always help prepare so I feel I could cook a meal by myself that even Mdme Guiliano might be mildly impressed by! b) My father counts yoghurt making a hobby (and makes it without a machine) c) Living where I live, I am geographically closer to Normandy than I am to England, and there is a heavy french influence on the local cuisine. There are many farms and islanders tend to buy all veg, seafood and dairy from local farmers. d) I usually cant go to bed at night without having done some kind of physical exercise that day but have never stepped foot inside a gym. (I enjoy jogging outside, cycling, walking, swimming) So meals have never been the problem. But bingeing on unhealthy and calorific snacks between meals or late at night is my downfall. My mother always fills the kitchen cupboards with chocolate, biscuits and ice cream, as she likes to 'treat' us but clearly I cant restrain myself. I wont go in to detail about how much I eat in one go, but it is embarrasing, and I do it in secret. Then I eat well again for a couple of days, then repeat the binge. It is a never ending cycle. Since about the age of 16, I have been 20 pounds above my desired weight, (I lose in the summer, at least 10 lb, due to visiting my mother's native land for the summer. It is almost like a period of natural recasting.) I then put that weight back on once the bingeing starts again, back home. I dont appear fat with clothes on, and am certainly not fat by British standards, but then we only come second in obesity levels to the USA, so that is hardly something to feel proud of. I dont feel 'comfortable in my skin' and I know how much better my face and body look with less fat, and how I can pull off more clothes at the lower weight. I dont like to look at my reflection when Im at my heaviest, it really depresses me. Yet I cant avoid these episodes of wild overeating I have. So when I came across FWDGF I was thrilled, overjoyed. I thought I had finally found the solution, because the ideas, and attitude towards food rang bells in my mind. I felt I could return to the way I eat in the summers, in my mothers homeland, where the weight falls off me because I eat no junk food, just normal amounts of the good stuff. And for a week it was great. But now Ive slipped and binged for four days and I feel like this shining beacon of hope in me has been snuffed out. I just dont know how I can overcome this problem I have of overeating sometimes, until I feel ill. But until I do, nothings going to change, and Im probably heavier now than Ive ever been. (Im 64 kg) Sorry for the long post, but I feel like Im going nowhere (except down the path to being clinically overweight) and feel very down about it all :(