POSTED: Wed, 03/03/2010 - 10:28am

The union of the feminine self and work

How do you balance and stay connected with your feminine self and your work self?
REPLIES 172  (Jump to bottom of page)


POSTED: Sat, 03/06/2010 - 9:02pm

So agreeing with you

I have been to a concert tonight and because it was a 'pop' concert ie 'The Hollies' I wore jeans, a white Crea T, a black Crea wrap cardigan with a long pin and high heeled boots. I felt just as feminine as I would have done in a skirt. It is all in the mind and the attitude. I did have lovely Chantelle underwear as well.


POSTED: Wed, 03/17/2010 - 7:50am

Crea T

Marilyn, can you tell me more about Crea T? I apologize, but I'm not familiar with the style or is it the manufacturer? Love the sound of your ensemble. I need to definitely make a trip to the lingerie store. Hip and chic....thanks, Lorraine


POSTED: Thu, 03/18/2010 - 4:47pm


CREA is a brand name of a quirky range of clothes. A friend of mine sells them. I will google the name and let you know what I find.


POSTED: Thu, 03/18/2010 - 4:49pm


the website is www.creaconcept.com Hope you like it.


POSTED: Sat, 03/06/2010 - 7:02pm

Liking your thoughts

Being lady- like,has to do with appreciating yourself as a woman.And one can be womanly/feminine in any outfit with a positive sense of self.I also think it is necessary to make an effort to care for oneself and to give out that message.I am realizing that here ,some of these poor people I rant against have, no concept of being feminine or womanly.


POSTED: Sat, 03/06/2010 - 1:54pm

I've missed you

Frenchy, you haven't posted much this week, I'm glad to be hearing your thoughts and reading your words again. The feminine that comes from within is also what Jeanie is saying with exuding the feminine. I hear you on the way we behave also affects our own experience of ourselves as feminine. This week I did work a little, and I kept my focus on experiencing my feminine self. It felt good. I do have to say that having a man in my life now also helps me feel feminine, because I treated that way. And as you say, Vive la Feminine!


POSTED: Wed, 03/03/2010 - 10:32am

explaining more

I feel a need to elaborate on my question. I've had the winter basically off from work, I've been cleaning, and reorganizing especially in my office and there is still more to do. However my real focus has been on me and on beauty. I've been loving losing weight, playing dress up, cleaning, reading feminine books. It is now time to begin to get more serious about the coming season. I don't want to lose the joy of the feminine I have gained, and yet work takes a lot of energy, I can't dress up in the same ways, and there are simply things that need to get done...I can't follow my every beauty care whim. It is in a sense a union of inner and outer in the deepest aspect of the energy. Does this make any sense?


POSTED: Fri, 03/05/2010 - 5:01am

Femininity at Work

I work for an engineering company (in the mining industry) so it is not uncommon for me to be the only woman in a meeting. I've heard all the advice about not looking or acting too feminine, but the best piece of advice (I have no idea where it came from) was "they know you're a girl" (i.e. no matter how you dress or act you are never actually going to be treated the same). So I say embrace it. In more practical terms, since work does take up so much time and energy, you need to focus on the little things that mean the most to you. I get great pleasure from looking down and seeing bright red nails peeping out of my peep toe shoes, so I make the time to redo them as necessary. Maybe you like to spend more time on your hair, or are happy to take the time to do eye makeup (I wear glasses so don't typically bother). I would also suggest taking the time to wash your face and apply creams/lotions of your choosing, and if you do this as soon as you get home or straight after dinner rather than just before going to bed, it never seems as strenuous. If you catch public transport, I highly recommend reading your feminine books with pride. You've typically got nothing better to do at the time, and it can lead to some interesting conversations...


POSTED: Sun, 03/07/2010 - 12:53pm

Good Morning Meneia

You have given a terrific primer on being feminine.It is the simple things that have the most impact,I agree.Knowing and embracing your femininity is so right.We will never,nor should we be,one of the boys.I think it gets mixed up in our minds with being sexy.That's fine too,but not necessarily useful in the workplace.All kinds of relationships develop at work and we will always have to deal with issues that arise.Being who you really are is essential.


POSTED: Sun, 03/07/2010 - 10:35am

Very cool Meneia

Menia, I read this post yesterday, thought about it all night then reread today to comment. That is cool you work for an engineering company in the mining industry. "They know you're a girl, no matter how you dress or act you are never going to be treated the same" and the way you have learned to embrace this. I am really hearing you deeply within me, I'm getting this in all ways, what I mean is that I now understand it is about "being different but equal" that Men and women are different (yeah) that we shouldn't have the same expectations whether in personal relationships or the work world. So be female, because we are (I know that sounds hideously simple, but sometimes simplicity is the best wisdom)I've been wearing my big "hippychic" earrings to work lately, they work for my face and I like them. I like your red toes peeking out...those little things that make us smile are quite fun, Marilyn's Chantel lingerie makes me think of this also.


POSTED: Thu, 03/04/2010 - 9:53am

Femininity at work

You may not be able to look feminine on top but you can still be feminine underneath. A little glimpse of lace, very discreet. Also there is no reason why you shouldn't still wear a little makeup, tinted moisturiser, mascara (waterproof), lipgloss, just play it down if you spend your working time outside. A pretty scarp round your hair perhaps to keep it out of the way. There are still loads of opportunities.


POSTED: Thu, 03/04/2010 - 8:42am

What are your options?

It sounds like you have done amazing stuff with your time, very reflextive. I feel your dilema. How does one maintain the good self-care, and yet go back to work? One of the things I keep hearing from Mirelle's writings is that it's all about the balance. For moi.....I am feeling that working part-time is the best of all. Is that an option for you?


POSTED: Sun, 03/07/2010 - 4:31pm


Glad you found your balance.We need to work to live,not the other way around.


POSTED: Thu, 03/04/2010 - 10:59am


Yes (written with a big smile) I will keep purchasing wonderful lingerie and wear this under work clothes. I do wear makeup and have even bought a wonderful new, stylish work hat. It isn't an option to work part time. I really hear you Lorraine on balance, this in the past has not been my strong point, we will see how it goes this season. One thing that is helpful for me to remember is that the really busy times only last 4 months than 4 months of more sane work schedule than almost 4 months off. Do you guys still feel like a woman at work? In America (and I think it is from the book "2 lipsticks and a lover") we do tend to make women "sexless" at work. Neutral clothes, attitudes, no play/flirting....We are a very uptight culture on one hand and a disrespectful culture to women on the other hand. How do you experience your feminine self at work?


POSTED: Thu, 03/04/2010 - 8:12pm

So tell me ............

how could you ever think what you say is boring?These are great questions.And have me thinking.How do we negotiate the nasty dichoctomy in the culture ?This has been part of what prompted me to be a Feminist,years ago.How sad our culture does not support us to be ourselves.Remaining oneself at work is difficult.But as with most self- actualization issues,it is all about how you feel about yourself.It is far too easy to lose your way.And achieving balance,I see now,is paramount.Insist ,if only to yourself, on maintaining your womanliness.No matter what you do maintain the basics of self-care;adapt them to the situation.Here is an example,there is a photo of a young Muslim woman,in full garb,headscarf(Hijab I think it is called)etc.on The Sartorialist website.Everything in place to quell her femininity,to cover it and she looks so feminine and chic.It has to be what she exudes,from her belief in herself.She has also done the most stylish thing with a scarf tied around her hand bag.That by the way is a great website as it is all about chic on the street worldwide.Anyway thank you for starting the discussion OXO


POSTED: Sat, 03/06/2010 - 1:50pm

exactly what you say and healing

I like what you've said here, Jeanie, and I think I get afraid that what I say may be boring or disregarded because I've been saying them to the wrong people. As you say our culture does not support us to be ourselves. To exude femininity, I feel these words as you write them, I want to feel them more. I think too it is bringing in the spirit of play more into everything. Especially dressing, since losing weight, getting dressed is no longer a dreaded horrible experience (what it used to feel like) Now I feel like a child playing dress up. I'm experimenting again, and loving being different every day. Yesterday it was the "librarian look with the fishnet stockings on" One focus...the legs and simplicity on the rest of the outfit. Today I'm kind of casual funky, because I've got this new brown hat on that does interesting things to my face and classic bone structure.


POSTED: Sat, 03/06/2010 - 6:56pm


You are having fun with this.It is fun.Your connection with your deep femininity allows you to find the spirit of joy in it.


POSTED: Thu, 03/04/2010 - 10:03pm

The Sartorialist...

I love it! Very inspirational and it's helping me get back on track. Thanks, Jean


POSTED: Thu, 03/04/2010 - 10:27pm

I know!

I spent a very enjoyable half hour looking for that photo.Didn't but will try again tomorrow.Tell me ,from where do the fashions appeal to you most?


POSTED: Sat, 03/13/2010 - 8:51pm

December 2009

On the Sartorialist.com....I found the photo of that young Muslim woman.Please have a look at it.She expresses femininity so well.And says better that I ever could that it is a very individual concept.


POSTED: Thu, 03/04/2010 - 11:43pm

Paris and Milan, dahling...

I can't get enough of the styles. I could spend a lot of time looking around the Sartorialist. Lots of ideas... and I even learned a new way to tie a scarf!

Another website I like is Street Peeper. http://streetpeeper.com/ It's candid street styles from many major cities around the world.


POSTED: Sat, 03/06/2010 - 6:53pm

Now who is more fashionable?

Men or women and where are they the most chic?

I love the Italian fashionistas and although I think Paris is fab.I am liking NYC very much.Thanks for the other link.


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