WOMEN & WORK

jas

POSTED: Wed, 03/03/2010 - 10:28am

The union of the feminine self and work

How do you balance and stay connected with your feminine self and your work self?
REPLIES 172  (Jump to bottom of page)

JSB

POSTED: Fri, 05/07/2010 - 8:21am

Questions

What is ordinary ?How is it defined?How do you and Jas define it?Has ordinary become a bit of a pejorative?I am not sure how I define ordinary.Is it o.k. to be "ordinary"?Like the box idea,bigger to fit in all of that wonderful ordinariness.

snorklee

POSTED: Fri, 05/07/2010 - 9:03am

Good question!

Hi Jeanie: What a good question! I tend to think that ordinary doesn't really exist. If everyone is different, how can anything be normal, ordinary, or even measurable on a scale?

If ordinary means "routine" that's a different direction. Routine and everyday behaviors could be ordinary for the person who is doing them. Like, for example, everyday I get up, eat breakfast, go for a walk and go to work... an ordinary day... for me, but not for someone else.

I take it to mean that making new thoughts ordinary means to make them part of my daily plan. But I like to change the slant on ordinary to make it "extraordinary". And always to keep my feelers up for new ideas, new ways to do things, and to keep the curiosity and enthusiasm going beyond a routine.

Instead of making things ordinary... keep them extraordinary. We are always growing. The world is not static, but constantly evolving. I don't ever want to get stuck in a routine. There's too much going on that needs to be explored. Especially since I'm getting older. How much time do I have to experience all the things I'd like to experience?

~and with that, she climbed down off her soapbox and went to eat her eggs.~

lol.

Have an expansive day!

Deb

JSB

POSTED: Fri, 05/07/2010 - 10:52am

Great Answer

Perfect.you hit the nail on the head.It truly explains how i feel ,too.Thanks for helping me clarify my ideas.OXO

JSB

POSTED: Thu, 05/06/2010 - 10:31pm

Based on a recent comment

by Elizabeth,about really liking oneself,I had a flash of insight.Perhaps,we are able to integrate ourselves when we are able to love/like ourselves...warts and all.If we engage in negative self-talk,negative self- image,even as far as self-loathing.it is difficult to experience ourselves as whole.We repress what we think is bad etc.and cut off the total experience.Yes,all of us have many aspects to ouselves,but those aspects are part of the whole person.Does any of this make sense?

Marilyn

POSTED: Tue, 05/04/2010 - 10:02am

All sides

We must learn to love all our sides. No-one is one sided. Today I am decorating the back bedroom with OH, cooking, ironing, eventually going to my excercise class and being on here. All the people I see or chat to see different sides of me. We are different people in one and should be happy in all our beings. Does that make sense?

jas

POSTED: Mon, 05/03/2010 - 12:38pm

integration

I'm focused on integration of me...and it is challenging. I really want to hear others thoughts and experiences. I am wondering how to feel comfortable and integrated with all the parts of me. Questions like what is the real me? So part of me loves wearing heels (they can be 2+ inches, but I love them) makeup, the sexy lingerie, curve showing clothes, AND my work means I use a chainsaw on a regular basis, know how to drive a skidloader, work with rock, dirt and many other "powerful things" (could say masculine, but I'm not)...so who is this me that is both feminine and and what? I don't even know the word. Jas

JSB

POSTED: Mon, 05/03/2010 - 1:00pm

Jas

Maybe we actually do not have separate sides to us;perhaps it is part of the whole you.Could it be that it is already integrated and the life task is to be aware of this and appreciate it ?

frenchy

POSTED: Tue, 05/04/2010 - 6:10am

A diamond is still a diamond

no matter how many ways it is cut. We don't label the diamond as it doesn't require labelling and none of the cuts take away from the brilliance. We don't analyze a diamond, or should I say we shouldn't analyze a diamond, but appreciate the beauty it exudes. I say we should all just try to be the diamond and shine in our own brilliance no matter what it is we are doing, wearing, feeling, or experiencing. Well said Jean.

JSB

POSTED: Tue, 05/04/2010 - 7:58am

Soul Sister

This is amazing....as I was drifting off to sleep I was pondering this idea and had a similar notion, about diamonds and facets,related to a whole self.You said it very well.

On how to achieve this state of being....I reckon that it is an intrinsic experience.It happens in questions asked(as Jas did)and the journey from that point.Or is it something else?

jas

POSTED: Mon, 05/03/2010 - 4:11pm

You are right and

Gurgle, think, hmmmm, I think we are only a whole and that yes somewhere in me it is already integrated and that I only need to be aware of this....But. But what? I don't know. How do you experience yourself as an integrated whole person?

JSB

POSTED: Mon, 05/03/2010 - 4:26pm

Excellent question

Hmmm...must think.

happycat

POSTED: Fri, 04/09/2010 - 9:33pm

Being fab at work!

I am respectful and attentive to co workers. Dress appropriately for the work I do. I work in a financial office so I dress feminine: pinks, blues, pastels as well as greys and browns. Pearls are a nice soft touch! Men like my soft,feminine look with my professional demeaner.

jas

POSTED: Tue, 04/06/2010 - 7:03pm

work today

I guess I'm needing to post here alot...I hope others join me. Work is a focus right now. It is going well so far. today I enjoyed feeling in my body. The feel of walking across a lawn and my female body form. The feel of weeds slipping through my trowel as I sat on the brown earth. The feel of briers as I cut them. The sound of birds or my own feet on the ground...the occasional smell of flowers, I think daffodils as they released their essence into the air. The taste of eating a great salad, the green essence quenching some thirst in me. The sweetness of beef mixed in and the taste of lemon water going into my mouth. My mind would come in and chatter sometimes, yet when I remembered I would refocus on the joy of just being right here in my female body.

jas

POSTED: Mon, 04/05/2010 - 7:38pm

today

Since work is starting up full steam ahead, my focus is different. I have to say sometimes I miss the leisure of winter, and cleaning/organizing, and having deep focus on the feminine me and eating. Now is fun too, the sun has been wonderful. My new crew so far is lovely to work with, and the work is fun, challenging, and creative. My days are long, and my mornings are peaceful and interesting. There is still stuff I'm struggling with, and am hesitant to write about it...I'm not sure why. And this too, this too is just where I am right now. I miss the deeper connections I had with some of you this winter. I don't have as much time to connect. Love Jas

jas

POSTED: Fri, 03/19/2010 - 6:01pm

So I had this awareness today

As I was working today I was paying attention to the ordinary...remember I do a lot of physical labor with my gardening work...and it is easy to feel "strong, tough...and not feminine." M., one of my crew and I were eating lunch outside and I kept noticing that my posture was bad...we were just sitting on a log overlooking a beautiful view...and I noticed my manners weren't as good as what they would normally be... and that my pants were nice and looked fine, but I missed the tighter/with lycra pants I like to wear (because they show my curves) So I shall be working with "the ordinary things" to not let go of my feminine self as I am digging in dirt, designing spaces, working with wood...

JSB

POSTED: Fri, 03/19/2010 - 7:28pm

Jas

My thought is this..what is more feminine than being in touch with the earth?See I think what you do is very feminine.KInd of a social prejudice to think physical labour is masculine.Women belong everywhere in any walk of life we choose.But we can still mind our manners and attend to our posture.I like the concept of the "ordinary things".

jas

POSTED: Sat, 03/20/2010 - 9:27am

I struggle with this

I think I have some inner conflict here. I really like being physical, I like being with nature. You are right, and I will sit with your words "what is more feminine than being in touch with the earth." Yet somehow feminine and chainsaws don't seem to fit together. It may be as simple as a shift in the ordinary realms, how I dress, my posture, my energy, my connection to the feminine in myself and the earth. I don't know.

frenchy

POSTED: Sat, 03/20/2010 - 3:00pm

Struggle no more

my dear. I will let you in on something...I met my husband with a gun in my hand. Yep. I am a certified firearms instructor and we met at a competition. So here I am in the most manly of competitions and my (who knew this would happen) one day to be husband finds me quite attractive. Mind you I am in jeans, t-shirt, boots and a head set (ear protection) so I do not look like a covergirl in any way shape or form but I am still a woman and still have my femininity. It is not about what you are doing or how you look in the process. You are a woman and therefore exude femininity in that respect.

jas

POSTED: Sun, 03/21/2010 - 12:39pm

oh Frenchy I love this

Thank you so much for sharing this Frenchy...I laughed and clapped my hands. How wonderful. Your gun has me and my chainsaw beat and I'm so happy. I am a woman. Thank you.

Marilyn

POSTED: Sat, 03/20/2010 - 11:34am

Thinking

Keep thinking feminine Jas. Remember you have pretty underwear on underneath. Is there any reason you should not wear work gear with lycra in to keep your curves? I don't mean skintight just enough so that your shape shows a little. Also keep up with the skin care and makeup. I will let you have any more thoughts I have on this.

jas

POSTED: Sun, 03/21/2010 - 12:41pm

Thanks Marilyn

I am and will continue to think feminine. I can wear different work clothes with Lycra that show my curves. I just haven't found any yet (I haven't actually looked either). The skin care and makeup has become a special joy to me. I will look forward to more thoughts on this. The very feminine part of my work is that I get to be involved in creating beauty every day and I love this.

frenchy

POSTED: Sat, 03/06/2010 - 1:37pm

My thoughts on this

are first and foremost I am a woman therefore I am and always will be feminine. There are times when I think femininity wanes a bit in women who do not behave in a lady-like fashion. My next thought is just who is it that decides what is feminine and what is not when it comes to what we wear. Granted dresses are more feminie looking than jeans. We have grown up with the notion that blue jeans and sneakers are not feminine and I think, says who? Being feminine comes from within and is a way of behaving that may or may not be enhanced by the way one is dressed. It is fine for a woman to have on a pair of jeans and sneakers as long as she is not using coarse language or behaving in a manner that is not feminine. Vive la Feminine everyone!

Nya_Nya

POSTED: Wed, 03/10/2010 - 6:46am

Interesting thoughts,

but then again, who says coarse language is any less appropriate for a woman than jeans and sneakers if everything is only a matter of perspective? Very young women are using swear words more and more often and it is slowly becoming normal - not good, but normal. When women first begun wearing trousers it was considered unthinkable and vulgar. Slowly it became not best, but normal (although skirts were still preferred). Eventually, trousers became much more common than skirts. So is it only a matter of time until what is now considered unladylike behavior becomes perfectly acceptable and the new norm?

jas

POSTED: Thu, 03/11/2010 - 9:30am

hmmmmmm

It was interesting to read your thoughts Nya_Nya, I don't experience the same thing though. Even though I'm older, my crew (employees) are often in their 20's. There is an energy we give off...and it matters. While some young people do swear and certainly wearing low cut tank tops and belly baring clothes are common, and as you say trousers are now very common...Common doesn't make for good energy. Common doesn't make for mystery, sensuality, charm. So what may be accepted behavior isn't necessarily behavior that I would want to exhibit. I like being different. I like being a woman. I'm even going back to wearing lots more skirts and dresses.

Nya_Nya

POSTED: Fri, 03/12/2010 - 11:04am

Yes, jas,

that's my point exactly. I agree with you in everything. I usually wear skirts and dresses and don't think swear words is appropriate anywhere (I'm 23). My post was a reply to frenchy's - what I wanted to say was that if we lower our standards so that jeans are considered feminine and ladylike, there's only a step until we consider low cut tops and coarse language similarly acceptable. I don't consider jeans feminine (just like you, I suspect), I consider them practical. And I applaud your effort to go back to wearing more skirts and dresses - it's what I am trying to do, too :)

jas

POSTED: Wed, 03/17/2010 - 11:40am

ahhh now

I'm with you. I reply more below your and Marilyn's discussion

Marilyn

POSTED: Fri, 03/12/2010 - 11:49am

Jeans

Whilst agreeing with you regarding the low cut cropped tops and coarse language I do think that in this age jeans and trousers on a woman can be made to look feminine and ladylike depending on what you wear with them and more importantly HOW you wear them. I wear jeans that are well cut and not scruffy, with tops and accessories that are appropriate to my age and the occassion. I would not wear them at the wrong time. It is, at the end of the day, personal choice. You see people of all ages looking inappropriate in skirts up to their bottoms which to me look much worse than a pair of well cut jeans. As long as we are feminine and ladylike in our behaviour we should each wear what makes us feel and look good.

This said I admire you for being feminine and ladylike when there is so much pressure on young people these days.

Nya_Nya

POSTED: Fri, 03/12/2010 - 12:08pm

OK,

I am overruled :) Don't misunderstand me - jeans look fine. On many women jeans look better than skirts. And yes, you can be feminine and ladylike wearing jeans. I wear them, too, and the outfits you describe sound classy and stylish. But jeans are not the epitome of femininity, nor should they become it - that was my only problem with the first post. I don't think we should try to persuade ourselves that jeans are feminine. They are not. A woman who wears them can, and often is feminine (as you said, she chooses the right kind of jeans and knows when and how to wear them), but jeans themselves are not feminine in my opinion. Why would we need to persuade ourselves they are feminine anyway? If you like them, wear them, and don't apologize for your choice or try to persuade yourself they are feminine. You are. That should be enough :)

Marilyn

POSTED: Fri, 03/12/2010 - 4:22pm

Enough

At the end of the day we are what we are. One persons idea of femininity may be completely different to the next, that is the way of the world. We all wear what we feel good in and what makes us feel feminine. Some people feel more comfortable in more tailored clothes whilst others are comfortable in frills and furbelows. It would be a very boring world if we were all the same. This is why this forum works, we are all different coming from different continents, with different lifestyles, differing ideas. The main thing is we all love things french and enjoy learning and discussion. Vive La France et le difference!!!!

jas

POSTED: Wed, 03/17/2010 - 11:51am

Thank you both

I really enjoyed reading your comments Nya and Marilyn. Remember I am new to reconnecting with my femininity, so these questions help more than you realize. I do wear jeans sometimes. However I really hear you on they may not be the most feminine choices but can look quite chic. I remember when Viva La Diva posted that she never wore jeans, it was a totally new concept to me. "What no jeans?" I thought. But the more I thought about it, I understood. Let me say this differently, too, I've been noticing the women around me. I live in rural part of the county but a University and small city is within 20 minutes. So there is quite a lot of diversity. However, it is quite common to see women dressed more as men, not in a transvestite way, more because they are farm women or country women, or I don't really know. Today, I went to take my trash to the recycling center. I am dressed nicely, black boot cut pants, red sheer top with white camisole under it. Nice long lightweight coat, makeup. I felt so good just emptying my trash and sorting my recycling. Then a woman I know pulled in, she also works in the gardening businesses. She has gained weight (my heart always goes out to this, I know the pain of it sooooo well) she is younger than me but looks much older, she was wearing the female "uniform" (that is uniform in this neck of the woods) jeans, big sweat shirt...we talked, and I felt such deep emotions. I'm not even sure I can describe all the emotions. I'm grateful to be back in my feminine self, I'm happy to look good and care about even taking the trash in, I'm deeply thankful to have lost weight, and I feel the pain of losing ones femininity, of gaining weight, of not being in touch with one self. I don't even know if all this relates to your discussion of jeans, but for me somehow it does.

JSB

POSTED: Wed, 03/17/2010 - 7:46pm

What it all means

at least to me....it is how you feel about yourself,as a woman ,as a person.Jeans can be terrifically chic and sexy or one can look totally unfeminine.Some people look good in jeans,some don't as well.But,in the long run,it comes down to being "bien dans ma peau",for everyone.If you will,it is how one "wears" her femininity.For me some times are better than others.This is not such a great time but it will get better.Good for you Jas for meeting the issue head on.

jas

POSTED: Wed, 03/17/2010 - 8:18pm

Jeanie....

What's up? If you want to share that is...You can get support if you ask for it. And you deserve to get what you want. Love Jas

JSB

POSTED: Wed, 03/17/2010 - 8:33pm

You are a doll

Thanks...just feeling a little mal dans ma peau.It is the tail end of the winter blues and my MD warned me I would be out of gas by April.And I am.And this has been a very easy winter and the best one I have had mood wise in over 20 years.There are big changes coming,in my plan to retire,my whole self-image is about to alter from "Jean super Nurse to Jean ...what?Retiree,Nana,what?"That and I am battling the bulge as usual.Meds.make it really hard to release pounds(a la Diva)and I simply feel HEAVY.Ugh.So you see nothing really horrible or insurmountable.Simply having a small pity party.Also,had an awful dream last night which impacted my mood and then today when I was out,I saw a young colleague of mine falling down drunk at 4:30p.m. and it really upset me.I know she is troubled and it hurt to see that.Thanks for asking.Sorry I blathered on.OXO

jas

POSTED: Thu, 03/18/2010 - 11:32am

hmmmmm again

I hear you, I'm here. Self image transformations are huge. What about Jean the woman, the beautiful silverhaired, lavender coat wearing, wonderfully funny, chic woman. What do you know of her? What do you know of this woman who seems to be always up for new adventures and new realities? It is very painful to watch a friend in pain who is not ready for help. I understand. (I would not think you a jerk!) Weight....gosh there is much I want to say here, and and and not finding words right now...how much do you want to talk about this? Jas

JSB

POSTED: Thu, 03/18/2010 - 5:37pm

What can I say?

But thank you so much for putting a positive perspective on it all.I know the Super Nurse me,all too well.She has not always served me well.But she has served others well.It ,clearly,is time to be moving on and seeking new experiences and getting to know these aspects of myself.This is an adventure,you are right.Your description of me,is what I hope to be.As for the weight issue,well it has informed my life for a very,very,very long time.I have understood it differently at different times.I want to know what you think of it all.So let's talk.Jean

valerie51

POSTED: Sat, 03/20/2010 - 10:46am

Good morning Super Nurse!!

I relate so well to what you are saying, Jean! I've had self-respect issues for many, many years. Yes, I raised six wonderful children...but I lived my life through theirs. It was only after my divorce that I began to learn who I am as an individual. I don't always like what I see. But, guess what? I can change that. I am a nurturer...I would mend the whole world if I could. I always tried to "fix" everything for my kids. After my divorce I realized I couldn't do that. They were relieved. They like seeing the new me. They like knowing they can talk honestly with me now and I will listen, but not try to fix everything. They know I will be honest with them and we may not agree. But it is ok. I no longer live my life through them. I will always be a nurturer...just as many, many of the people in this forum are. That is something I don't want to lose...but Jean, we have to take care of ourselves first or we can't nurture others. And I am learning that part of taking care of me is to say no sometimes. Learning to balance taking care of you vs. taking care of others...learning to know who you really are, even when you don't like what you see...confronting those parts of you that you see and don't like...changing those things one baby step at a time...Jean it isn't easy; it is a painful process at times. But you are worth it, just as I am. Self-respect and self-confidence are still hard for me. But my fiance pushes me hard in that area...makes me confront things, makes me take compliments when he gives them, supports me when it hurts to change...and all of us here will be there for you Jean, anytime. I was reading a novel this morning, and something one of the characters said really hit me hard. He said the lies we tell ourselves are the worst lies of all. If we cannot face the truth about ourselves then we will never know who we really are. We cannot change, Jean, if we don't look inside and see what really needs changing. It is so hard...so hard...but it is worth it when we begin to see a butterfly where a caterpillar had been! (I still feel kinda wormy at times...lol).

JSB

POSTED: Sun, 03/21/2010 - 11:36pm

Valerie

You hit the nail squarely on the head,on all points.I know I must care for me first and many times I do.But there are times,too many,that I lose my way.I become disconnected from me,my physical and spiritual self(not in a religious sense)and wander.Today,I took a long ,relatively brisk walk and just felt so well and connected to "me".It led to other good choices regarding food and the enjoyment of it.It is a blessing and a relief to have all of you here offering incredible support.I am very thankful.

What a fine man you have .You so truly deserve this new life.He ,btw,is very fortunate to have you.

Lies we tell ourselves are the worst lies of all....that really resonates with me,too.Balance,authenticity,being true to ourselves,these are all laudable and necessary goals.This is so exciting...I realize our discussions here have me looking forwardto, instead of backon,my life.Quite a gift you have given me.

Be well and really take good care of you.OXO

jas

POSTED: Fri, 03/19/2010 - 5:57pm

jeanie

do you want to email another address, it will be easier to communicate...try cassidyspark@gmail.com jas

Marilyn

POSTED: Sat, 03/20/2010 - 11:40am

jas

Hope you don't mind that I made anote of your email as well. Will email any further thoughts I have re 'the feminine at work'.

JSB

POSTED: Fri, 03/19/2010 - 7:29pm

Jas

Check your email!!

JSB

POSTED: Wed, 03/17/2010 - 8:47pm

PS

In case you think I am a jerk...there was heavy traffic between us and before I could get to her she picked herself up and staggered into a bar.The saddest bit is that she rejects all offered help.Can't save evryone,I know,yet it hurts.

Marilyn

POSTED: Thu, 03/18/2010 - 4:45pm

Jean

I think you are having what I call 'a crisis in confidence'. As our lives change we all have moments of doubt. Whether about our looks, our lives or how we interact with others. We CANNOT be everything to all people. We should look to being 'bien dans nos peux' how we wish to be. Feminity is how we interpret it individually. I feel just as feminine in trousers and jeans as I do in a skirt. It is an attitude of mind and accessories. As an example of feminity look at the late Princess Diana she looked feminine in whatever she wore.

You are a good friend to many and a mentor to your colleagues. This will not finish when you retire but it will change. You will need to adapt your mindset. I am trying, it is difficult but be brave and think positive. Those grandchildren love you.

JSB

POSTED: Thu, 03/18/2010 - 5:45pm

And to you dear Marilyn..

many thank yous.I certainly agree with you about feeling feminine.Princess Diana was wonderful.I still miss her.Today,I am in jeans and feel fine.Look fine too,in fact.Yes,it is a crisis of confidence.As I get closer to my goal,I feel more uncertain.One of my pensions kicks in April 1st.Take a big breath and move forward.You are such a help and comfort.You are blazing the trail.What are you doing to adapt,if that is not too personal a question?OXO Jean

Marilyn

POSTED: Thu, 03/18/2010 - 6:10pm

My friend Jen

Little things make the difference. I am doing more cooking and enjoying it. I spend more time sorting the house, things that have been waiting to be done for a long time. Using the house as a home rather than a hotel. These things may sound mundane but they are helping me adjust to being at home. I still have my theatre trips, cooking demos and meeting with friends but I am careful with what I spend (I have moments of madness still e.g. the recent jacket!!!),a coffee is just as enjoyable as expensive lunches. I have times of thinking 'did I do right, should I have stayed at work' especially when I have to say 'No' to myself. At the end of the day my quality of life is better I could not have stayed at the office and remained sane. OK, so I cannot afford to spend on clothes etc like I used to but I feel more content with my life. How long will this last? Who knows but I intend to enjoy it while it does and then adjust again if I want to. I have many things I want to do, I may succeed I may not, that is life. Take care and enjoy. xxx

valerie51

POSTED: Sat, 03/20/2010 - 10:28am

making do

I'm glad you are finding your way Marilyn. Change is hard, even when it is good change. I was a homemaker and mom for 29 years; after my divorce I had to get a job and learn a new way of life. I am in the process of getting my paralegal degree now; I work at a minimum wage job 25-30 hours a week...realistically that is all the hours I can handle with my classwork. I completely understand having to say "no" to many things. My fiance and I found a much nicer home to rent in December; his paychecks are cut by almost half during winter so rent and the necessary bills have been a priority. I have learned to say no to many, many things. It hasn't been hard, though, because I like where we are living. It isn't expensive at all by today's standards, but it has been a challenge with limited income. I know money does not buy happiness...I had ample money in my first marriage, but little happiness. Now I have little money, but am hugely happy. My fiance laments that we don't have more, but he is slowly seeing that having a healthy, happy family and home is of much more value than "things". Yes, money is wonderful...I got my tax return and was able to go shopping for some household basics we'd been doing without...it was wonderful!!! Being content with my life is important, just as you say Marilyn. And our life, like our way of eating is adaptable and changeable. That is part of what makes life enjoyable and yes, challenging...change and adaptation. It seems as though you are doing this with gusto! And isn't it grand to make a house a home...to finally have the time to do that? Enjoy where you are at this point in your life...I firmly believe life is all about enjoying the journey!

JSB

POSTED: Thu, 03/18/2010 - 11:36pm

Dear Marilyn

I love that notion of home versus hotel.I appreciate your message of taking it as it comes and finding happiness/pleasure in everyday events.Wise as always!It helps to understand it is a gradual process of change and adapting to it.Not a leap into the dark,as I secretly feared.Staying at a job that stresses your spirit and self-esteem is not good.You have done the right thing.And knowing that your quality of life has improved makes me very happy for you.Thank you for helping me.OXO

snorklee

POSTED: Thu, 03/18/2010 - 11:07pm

Perspective

Marilyn, thank you so much for your perspective on quality of life versus working. I'm at a crossroads too, where I need to make some adjustments. I work a full-time nursing job and then I have a freelance writing job that I should work about 20-30 hours a week at, too. The money is nice, but I have no quality of life to speak of. I'm always working! I want to let the freelance job go, so I can concentrate on my nursing job, which is quite challenging and stressful at times. I need to have some time to myself to just enjoy my house and my garden. I won't have as much money if I do let it go, but the money doesn't mean much when I'm so unhappy.

Your post shows me that money isn't everything. I especially like your phrase, "Using the house as a home rather than a hotel." That exactly says everything. :)

Thanks,
Deb

JSB

POSTED: Thu, 03/18/2010 - 11:47pm

Hi Deb

Interesting isn't it how life ALWAYS presents challenges.Mireille is so on point: it is all about balance.If you feel you have little/no quality of life then what good is the money?Put yourself first(a mantra for all time).Nursing is challenging,stressful,seductive ,fulfilling and at odd moments even thrilling.Learn now to care for yourself.It can take up all your energy and creativity.It is a hard task mistress but such truly good work.And caring for you is esential for survival.Especially when faced with people in very serious trouble,with incredible needs and they are looking at you.I know you are a good writer and perhaps you can return to it when things in nursing are more settled for you.OXO Jean

snorklee

POSTED: Fri, 03/19/2010 - 12:09am

Challenges

Thank you, Jeannie. You're right. I can always go back to writing. This particular writing job will be gone if I let it go, but who knows what might open up someday?

Nya_Nya

POSTED: Sat, 03/13/2010 - 5:16am

Agreed!

Hear, hear :)

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