WOMEN & WORK

JSB

POSTED: Thu, 11/13/2014 - 9:11pm

Retirement

Reviewing my relationship to work and wondering what retirement will bring.Most of you are far from retirement,but it will come.I suggest you think,about it before you are seventy.It truly is a sea change as it impacts everything.Lifestyle,who you are,especially if like me ,your self worth is tied up,in what you do,finances which impacts where and how you will live.Many questions to be answered.I am taking steps to,sort my finances but it may mean a move to a cheaper place to live.And I mean to a new part of the country.While out in San Diego,I realized that I want to be near the ocean.The options are the east or west coast.Victoria B.C. Is a possibility(thanks to Susan)and Halifax Nova Scotia also in the running.Halifax being listed as one of the least costly places to live in Canada. What will I do with my time?I have so much to offer from my experience and would like to,find a way to offer that,without the stress of hospital nursing.At the same time I feel the strong need for me time,to think,to read and time spent with those I love. Any thoughts,dear Sisters?
REPLIES 47  (Jump to bottom of page)

MollyA

POSTED: Fri, 03/10/2017 - 8:50pm

FWDGF Transition Network

It was 6 years ago that I retired.from corporate life. I'd earned 7 educational degrees while working full time to get where I had gotten to, in a financially stable but patriarchal corporation. What an enormous change to wrap my mind around that all this time investing in my future financial security could not protect me now. Transitions take time, and re-integrating professional life into retired life also takes time. I am now thinking about what to do as a third chapter in my work life. Hmm. My work is now work on myself and my own life and exploring what I might do in the future to contribute.

JSB

POSTED: Fri, 03/10/2017 - 9:11pm

Incredible

You are incredible.How did you manage that ?And now you are facing an uncertain future with grace and courage.We are here for you.I am here for you.Please,let us know how it goes.oxo

Celtic Owl

POSTED: Fri, 01/27/2017 - 6:55pm

joining the ranks

Hello, Jean, I am retiring part time this coming month. I will be able to work part time, on the weekends, to help make ends meet. I am getting tired, and being a CNA is hard work. Plus, I take care of my Dad, and after his heart issues, he is getting older, and I want his last years to be good ones. I am nervous and anxious and hopefully more excited as I adjust to a new way of being. My to do list is long and lovely. Eating more French Women Don't get fat is so much on my mind. Looking forward to great senior years.

JSB

POSTED: Fri, 01/27/2017 - 8:24pm

Retirement

You will like it.You will have time to focus on what is important to you.And when you have time to think and rest,you may find new interests .Your job is very stressful and caring for your father at the same time is a heavy load.He ismost fortunate to have you.Being nervous and anxious is a normal part of the transition.You will be fine.Working a couple of days will help financially as you said and it will put a different light on your job when you do go to work.Rooting for you all the way.And please keep in touch and tell us about your journey.OXO

Celtic Owl

POSTED: Sat, 01/28/2017 - 3:18pm

retirement

Thank you so much for the encouragement. Having the shared experiences we all so here helps. OXO to you, also. and I am glad your heat is keeping you warm now.

JSB

POSTED: Sat, 01/28/2017 - 9:00pm

We can become ..

The retirement experts along with Marilyn and Tina.

Shirley 1944

POSTED: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 11:06am

Hubby and I

are considering South Carolina (the Greenville area) for retirement. We are looking at houses on line and Robert will get his Carolina license (funeral director and embalmer) the beginning of the year. Looking forward to moving there

JSB

POSTED: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 11:58am

Nice plan

Greenville sounds beautiful and peaceful.

Knnhy0

POSTED: Wed, 01/11/2017 - 3:17pm

Remember?

Hi Jean and Marilyn, Do you remember Kathy from Minnesota and several years ago? I finally got back onto the site that helped me stay balanced. I see Jean that you are retiring -I am 2 years away but drooling-I will read all the advice as it is such a big leap. Hope you and Marilyn are well. Kathy

JSB

POSTED: Wed, 01/11/2017 - 4:01pm

Welcome Home!!!!

Terrific to see you here again.Please,more news of you a.s.a.p.

Knnhy0

POSTED: Wed, 01/11/2017 - 8:39pm

All is well

Bless your heart Jean. I am doing great other than some extra pounds. We moved into town in preparation for retirement-a little river town loved by many so a great place to park it. I saw you mention San Diego in a post-we just went there in November to celebrate my 60th bday and loved the sunshine and ocean-which feeds my soul. Have you moved or are you still in Canada? Tell me how you are!

JSB

POSTED: Thu, 01/12/2017 - 12:10pm

Thanks for your news

The town you have chosen sounds lovely.I am retired ,at least semi retired and living in Ottawa,still.San Diego was two years ago for my Goddaughter's wedding.Loved the place and definitely a great venue for an important birthday.Know exactly how you feel about the ocean.

JSB

POSTED: Wed, 01/06/2016 - 9:47pm

Fifty Years of Nursing Practice

Yes my friends this is my fiftieth year as a Nurse.Even I believe this is an amazing accomplishment. To Quote the Grateful Dead (I think)what a long strange trip It has been.It stuns me that it has moved with such speed.And oh what I have learned!The amazing people I Have worked with!The incredible friends I have made.!!!! What is next?Retirement?Slowing the pace?I mused about this before and I am Still eager to join the fray. Although,perhaps a little less involvement,stress and intensity.

JSB

POSTED: Sun, 11/27/2016 - 11:58am

I have retired!!!

Dance in the streets.

Marilyn

POSTED: Fri, 12/02/2016 - 2:06pm

Dancing for you

Well done my friend. One decision you will not regret. Okay you may not be able to afford all the luxuries but life will be gentler and more enjoyable. Time to stop and smell the roses.

JSB

POSTED: Fri, 12/02/2016 - 2:29pm

Thank you!

You are absolutely right.I feel calmer and more rested,already.It is wonderful to say Yes!I can join you then.And not worry if I am working.oxo

Shirley 1944

POSTED: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 11:03am

I am beginning to wonder

if I have completely lost my mind with this new career (Medical coding) idea. Why would I want to go back to "work" again (even if it is from home!)? Originally, I was looking for something to occupy my mind as my doctor's wife said I need to do something because I was "stagnating" ! I liked retirement, just needed something to challenge my mind; now, I am depressed at the thought of working again. Although my husband says he doesn't care if I go to work or not, I feel like I would be disappointing him if I don't. What a dilemma!

JSB

POSTED: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 11:56am

Dear Shirley

Take your DH at his word .Then do what is best for you,please.Could you so it part time?Or even as casual work?And who says you are stagnating?Really?You do not sound stagnant to me.Besides you have done your brain a power of good,learning something new.Being of our classic and classy vintage has earned us the right to go at our own pace.OXO

Shirley 1944

POSTED: Mon, 12/12/2016 - 11:03am

Jean

you always shine a light on my problem paths. You are so very wise in your advice. Thank you for being there for me (and for everyone) right when we need you. XOXO

JSB

POSTED: Tue, 12/13/2016 - 9:01am

Good Morning Shirley

You are welcome,my friend.Live the life you want.And this is a two way street.You give me tremendous support and courage to go on.

Shirley 1944

POSTED: Mon, 11/28/2016 - 4:04pm

Congratulations

my friend!

Patoui

POSTED: Mon, 11/28/2016 - 1:54pm

Fabulous News!

Congratulations on your retirement! I am so happy for you and cannot wait to hear about your next journey in life! Enjoy my friend....it is much deserved :)

kit

POSTED: Sun, 11/27/2016 - 6:22pm

Dancing in the streets..

For you!! Congratulations and welcome to your real life!! xoxo

JSB

POSTED: Sun, 11/27/2016 - 8:32pm

Woohooo

Prince's. Song Party Like It's 1999 was on and I danced to it to celebrate my freedom.Thank you.OXO

AngelaR

POSTED: Thu, 12/04/2014 - 2:37pm

Ocean?

My husband and I talk of this often and we both feel that the State of Washington is out of the question for retiring. There is a lot to consider. So much it makes my head spin. But not thinking about it won't help us huh?

cwlorente

POSTED: Wed, 12/10/2014 - 12:48am

Washington

AngelaR, if you don't mind my asking, why are you no longer considering Washington? I ask because it's one of the places DH and I may end up. (My sister and husband are building a couple of houses there, and we'd be living in one of them.) And you're so right: There is so much to consider. We've researched a half dozen places these past few years, and I'm more confused than ever.

AngelaR

POSTED: Wed, 12/10/2014 - 2:52pm

Washington

You know, we both love Washington, but the housing prices are outrageous! That coupled with 9.5% sales tax, it certainly isn't cheap for the elderly.

JSB

POSTED: Wed, 12/10/2014 - 12:22pm

Retirement

What to do?Where to be?This is a very important phase of life as it determines much of how we will live out our years.I am stunned by the complexity of it.

JSB

POSTED: Wed, 12/10/2014 - 12:22pm

Retirement

What to do?Where to be?This is a very important phase of life as it determines much of how we will live out our years.I am stunned by the complexity of it.

JSB

POSTED: Thu, 12/04/2014 - 9:33pm

Oh so right

Never thought of it as being such an enormous decision,yet it is.Never really thoughtbI would get old.Silly me.

cwlorente

POSTED: Wed, 12/10/2014 - 6:55pm

I know.

Deciding where to live in retirement is probably the biggest decision we will make as a couple. If money is not an issue, then you can live wherever and however you want, but if you must take into consideration taxes and housing prices, then you have to decide what you're willing to concede in order to afford to live a certain way. We would much prefer to stay in the city, but housing costs are at the top of our budget. DH says he can live in the country, but he's a city kid born and bred, and he has no idea what it's like to live out on the prairie, where I was raised. (There were almost twice as many people in his city high school as in my entire hometown.) But we could afford to have a house, a yard, a garden, better health insurance...and I guess we could just take the train in to the city when we need an urban "fix." -- Carol

JSB

POSTED: Thu, 12/11/2014 - 10:28pm

Trade Offs

That is the thing about big decisions ,there are trade offs.It all spins around in our poor heads.Oxo

Suemac

POSTED: Thu, 12/11/2014 - 6:13pm

Good compromise!

Carol, I think that is a sensible idea. Both John and I have lived in small towns and/or in the countryside when we were growing up, but we moved to Spain from London so were used to city amenities. We now live in a town with a population of 25,000, with lots of shops, bars and restaurants, plus an excellent theatre, but obviously it's very different from city life. However we can also catch a bus to Murcia city, which takes less than an hour, if we want our city "fix". We don't go there very often, but it's good to have the option.

JSB

POSTED: Fri, 11/21/2014 - 12:01pm

Hello My Friends

I have read and reread all your wisdom and so appreciate you taking the time to help me.I will answer in more detail.Have been busy taking steps to sort out. The road to retirement.Take care.oxo

Suemac

POSTED: Sun, 11/16/2014 - 12:36pm

Retiring abroad

We lived in London and I commuted to my part-time job in HR, also travelling into London to work part-time as a complementary therapist (self-employed). My plan A was to move to Spain to a house that we were buying on a golf resort and continue working as a complementary therapist. However the developers went into liquidation, meaning that we lost our deposit and our hoped for new home so on to Plan B! We now live in a modern apartment on the edge of a typical Spanish inland town, with wonderful Spanish neighbours. In spite of our limited knowledge of their language, the local people were warm and welcoming to the two new expats. We could have returned to the UK as we were renting when the developers started having financial problems, but we had settled into the local community so we made the decision to sell the London flat and stay here permanently. Apart from the friendliness of the locals, the weather is better than in the UK and the cost of living is a lot less, which is important when you're living on your pensions. We go to Spanish classes twice a week, meet up with Spanish friends and British expats several times a week, plus I write a blog and my husband takes our Spanish dog Lisa for long walks. My suggestion to anyone thinking of retiring to another town or even another country is to do lots of research, plus draw up a list of pros and cons before you make your decision. I have written a book "Retiring the Olé Way" about our personal experiences moving to Spain, which earns me a few pounds/euros/dollars in royalties every year! The only things that we miss from our old life in London are friends and of course our families. Luckily my two daughters and my son-in-law will be coming here for Christmas so I am very excited! We are also fortunate enough to be able to afford to visit them in London once or twice a year. Finally, don't think of this as the end of your working life, but think of it as the start of your exciting new life of freedom. Good luck!

JSB

POSTED: Tue, 11/25/2014 - 11:47am

Rereading your sage advice

And I will make that pro and con list.The research is underway.I mentioned my options in a reply to Carol.Montreal is well known to me ,the others will require more investigation.Think I will make a list of what I really would like in a place to live,in order of importance and see if that helps.It is actually a step forward into the future.Thanks for your help.oxo

Kimberly

POSTED: Sat, 11/15/2014 - 7:20pm

Not retired but....

I am not retired but I am having to be a housewife as I am unable to work while on the fiance visa. I do have a neighbour who was forced to retire because of health issues. She stays busy. There will definitely be a transition period where you have to find your new self and develop a new life. This lady is involved in her community, she attends a book club and has turned a hobby into a side business. She makes wedding and special occasion cakes. As for myself, I have to admit that I enjoy life in the home. I have lunch with friends, experiment in the kitchen trying new dishes and baking, etc. Stay active....stay involved.

JSB

POSTED: Tue, 11/25/2014 - 11:53am

Good Morning

Your new life fits you perfectly I think.Really happy for you.You hit the nail on the head...staying active and staying involved.My career provides me with that in spades.It is how to,translate that into a different kind of action.Must research that too.What would challenge and fulfill me?I am very committed to Womenms Rights and Social Justice.I have enacted that commitment in my work each day.Now how to direct it?We shall see.oxo

kit

POSTED: Sat, 11/15/2014 - 1:08am

Retirement...

Ah,that is the question. It does take some getting used to. As I mentioned, I kind of dropped into a black hole when I left the hospital. Even though I was working part-time auditing medical records I felt that I no longer was significant not taking care of patients. As you said, even after the most horrific of shifts, we could say WE did it. Some of it was tied to age. I was still one of the girls at mid-sixty. But what I really left behind were the stomach aches and sad feeling that no matter how hard I worked, I would never be able to give patients the kind of care I wanted. When I realized that it was okay to take care of ME now, the feelings of loss and irrelevance slowly evaporated. I admire you greatly Jean. Your age is not the issue. But we all get to a place when we are ready to pass the baton. You will always be a nurse, as I will. Don't you catch yourself in a crowd somewhere, doing an assessment in your head on people? I love my part-time job and the people in the office. I'm still the oldest one but who cares! Yes, I've had to cut back on expenses but I really have everything I need. How I wish we both could live in San Diego lol! Find your passion. I know you will. Let it reveal itself to you. Have you thought of going part-time to ease the transition? Wishing you luck in whatever you decide. xoxo

JSB

POSTED: Tue, 11/25/2014 - 8:49pm

Hello Dear Tina

Guess I am having a problem passing the baton.Your experience in reconfiguring your life is something I will draw on.As Nurses,we are part of something big,something essential,it is important to be one of the team.But it is also as important to have a life,other than Nursing.As I write this to you a thought is surfacing....I have spent over 50 years caring for and fighting for others and perhaps I do not need to keep on in that vein(bad pun).Somewhere inside of me is an artist,who loved to draw,to sing etc.My talent is small but that does not matter.It is much more about nurturing that part of me.Nursing soaked up all that creativity.This is an insight I did not expect.It has blown cobwebs of something important that I put away,a very long time ago.There is no reason why I can't continue with "good works".But that will not be the focus,nor should it be.Big rethink going on here.Thank you for supplying me with a place to grow.And yes I do wish we could live in San Diego.OXO

cwlorente

POSTED: Fri, 11/14/2014 - 9:45pm

I guess my self-worth is not

I guess my self-worth is not tied to what I did for a living. I am always proud of what I did, but the reason I retired at 62 was because I didn't want to do that anymore. I'd had enough of deadlines and crazy hours and being at the mercy of authors and publishers. So I retired 1.5 years ago and gave myself one year to do whatever I wanted, be it read, watch movies, whatever. One year was about enough. Now I want to continue to write, but on my own terms. ..........What I have found is that finances play a more important and profound role in retirement than I even expected. We have to move out of this wonderful, upscale neighborhood we've lived in since the 1980s and move somewhere more affordable. I spend most days researching that right now..........I too don't feel like I can just sit here everyday and play on Facebook. Life for me has to have meaning, so I have decided that, come 2015, I am going to devote myself to one of the causes I believe in by becoming an activist. I was always very active in politics and social issues but, as I got to be in my 50s and 60s, I was just too busy--full-time job, my own business, kids in high school and college and then married and grandchildren--and I was just too tired. But the kids are on their own now, I don't have a job, and I yearn to make a difference somewhere, even if it's just one person.--Carol

JSB

POSTED: Fri, 11/14/2014 - 11:00pm

Dear Carol

You said it really beautifully.And of course it has me thinking deeply.Please do,keep.writing.Follow your passion.As for the finances I understand completely.I think any number of us,are having a very rude awakening.That is why I am seriously considering a major move.It is a bit painful and daunting.Nursing for me has been a passion,at times a major struggle but at the end of the day it has given me incredible gifts.To walk away and no longer be a NURSE is unthinkable.Today at work was really difficult ,frustrating and sad at times.Yet when the shift was over I was able to say our Team did great work and I Was proud to be part of that effort. {\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252 {\fonttbl\f0\fnil\fcharset0 Verdana;} {\colortbl;\red255\green255\blue255;\red255\green255\blue255;} \deftab720 \pard\pardeftab720\partightenfactor0 \f0\fs32 \cf2 \expnd0\expndtw0\kerning0 \outl0\strokewidth0 \strokec2 \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ } Your idea of getting back to,your activist roots is wonderful and challenging.Which cause do,you think Youmwill choose? My work has fed my activist drive and I am a strong patient advocate and advocate for mental health.Yet I would like to peruse other possibilities.There are so many.Women's issues are a strong interest of mine.And that alone is a lifetime of work.A lot of thinking to be done. Thank you for your reply.OXO

JSB

POSTED: Fri, 11/14/2014 - 11:01pm

Gracious

What is that mess in the middle!Sorry.

Suzannew

POSTED: Mon, 11/17/2014 - 12:53pm

Retiring

Jean, you would be an awesome activist for women's issues. And being able to blend your knowledge in from your career would make you very valuable to any cause, and in demand. You would still be able to have connections to hospitals but perhaps you could spread your wings further into the community to share your gift. That alone would take up so much of your day or week even. If you do decide to move, community is so important, as is lifestyle and how you want to live it. Even though we are far from retirement, we are hoping and planning to move to our forever home in a community we both love and feel comfortable in, knowing that the support is shared there and the lifestyle is what we want to have way into old age. Put some feelers out to the communities you are looking at? Reach out to the hospitals in the areas and see what they can offer you by inquiring via email? Ask them - what can you do for ME? XO

JSB

POSTED: Tue, 11/25/2014 - 12:03pm

Good Morning my friend

Very well said.There is much to be done at a thinking level.One of my interests is a group of women who have organized to help grandmothers in Africa .They have become primary care givers to their grandchildrenthrough the devastation of HIV and Imimagine EBOLA is causing a similar tragedy.Thatbis one possibility.I have always supported Ammnesty International financially,but now that funds will be much tighter perhaps I should do some actual volunteer work for them.There are plenty of options.All my life I have worked to improve the situation for those suffering Mental Illness.It is time to look at other issues,I believe.So you see there is plenty of things to consider.oxo

cwlorente

POSTED: Mon, 11/24/2014 - 2:25pm

"Major move"?

Jean, what do you mean by "major move"? Do you mean moving out of nursing, or physically moving elsewhere? We have just a few months to decide where to live since our lease is up in May. We'd prefer to stay in the city, but the cost is going to make that difficult--not out of the question, but difficult. As for a "major move," we've also thought about moving to the country, where we could rent an entire new house for almost the same price as a city apartment. I grew up there, but L is a city kid, born and raised. He claims he can do it, but he has no idea how different it is...Thing is, I've always believed there are no wrong ways to go about this. There's trial and error. The worst that could happen is that we wouldn't like it in the country and would move back. Been there, done that, as they say. --Carol xoxo

JSB

POSTED: Mon, 11/24/2014 - 9:28pm

You are right

It is trial and error or trial and success.You certainly do have a big decision to make.Being a city kid myself,the country does not appeal.A pros and cons list might help. As for my possible move,it is a way off.But I am giving serious thought to Victoria,B.C.,Halifax Nova Scotia or a return to my much loved Montreal.Of course I could stay here.The least attractive option in my mind.I would have to visit Victoria and Halifax before I make such a big decision.Lots to think about.We shall see what shows up.The trick is to make the best choice we can for ourselves.Best of luck with yours.oxo


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