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SUPPORT GROUPS

annik

POSTED: Sat, 04/18/2009 - 3:51pm

I need help...

We're all here to help each other.  Ask, and you shall receive.

jas

POSTED: Tue, 12/27/2011 - 5:02pm I need help in another direction I'm needing help and prayers for a work situation. I guess there is two issues here (prayer would help a lot) 1. is that I subcontracted with a person this summer who i checked out as much as I could. Bottom line, he didn't do a good job. I'm liable as the contractor. The whole time my gut kept telling me the job wasn't ok...I kept questioning the subcontractor. So it was a situation of listening to my gut but still not knowing what to do. 2. Keeping clients is an important part of my success, it is a scarey situation...I've got to trust this subcontractor to do what is right...only I don't trust him. Prayers for a really good outcome and still keeping this client would be really helpful. But also I feel like I need to learn more about what to do when my intuition is saying something, how to really demand to be heard...how to be "the bad guy" and demand that what I know matters...I don't even quite have all these words. Jas

jas

POSTED: Wed, 01/18/2012 - 4:45pm Update on the above First let me say how much appreciate the prayers it does matter and you can keep sending them this way when you think of it. Here's the update, the situation is in process, the client and I working well together, the subcontractor being willing to talk about it, but not budging. What is very new for me, is the way I'm dealing with it. (I got Elizabeth's recommendation, "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office" book) I'm calm, I'm clear, I feel patient. I'm taking things on step at a time with a lot of prayer and trust. This is all very new for me. I'm speaking up when I need to, I'm also just presenting facts in a calm way when I need to. And the journey goes on. Thanks again, for all the support

Elizabeth G

POSTED: Wed, 01/18/2012 - 8:45pm So pleased you gleaned some good advice from the book! Of course every example and circumstance in the book doesn't apply to every facet of ANYONE'S life, but one of my big take-aways was that I was more worried about being liked, being "the funny one", than I was worried about being competent and effective. And I over-apologized. I work constantly on finding a balance because after all, that's what life is all about. I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better about things.

kit

POSTED: Wed, 01/18/2012 - 6:26pm Hi Jas! I second the advice from Celtic Owl. Although we don't know each other face to face, I feel your sense of calm, clear-headedness despite the harshness of the business "jungle". And your passion to provide what your clients need. This is my year of being true to myself which is different from being selfish. It means stopping to breathe, calmly stating MY needs,not automatically saying yes and "caving", and remaining neutral when people push my buttons because they know how I'll react. I am sending continued prayer and good wishes to you in your endeavors. xo

Celtic Owl

POSTED: Wed, 01/18/2012 - 5:02pm Bravo Sounds like you are getting lots of help from your prayers. We are always growing, I am finding, myself. You are learning some of your power and how to use it appropriately. And With Class, I add.

kit

POSTED: Sat, 12/31/2011 - 8:38pm Dear Jas, I am always so impressed with your view of the world we inhabit. You so often "see" what isn't apparent to people like me who are too often concrete, black and white thinkers. You embody the yin and yang of life, especially in a business world. As others have advised, go with your instincts, they are good ones. Your staff and clients are lucky to have your talents and caring. You can trust yourself. I will be thinking good wishes for you now and in the New Year!!xo

jas	POSTED: Tue, 01/03/2012 - 9:10am kit Thank you. Your words mean a lot to me.

Marilyn

POSTED: Thu, 12/29/2011 - 12:30pm Jas Go with your intuition Jas. You have the knowledge and the experience to know what is correct and good. You have done all the checking you can and if the job isn't being done properly you can insist it is corrected by the subcontractor who is being paid for doing a good job not a bad one. Be strong and trust yourself. My heart goes out to you as you are in a difficult situation.

Viva la Diva

POSTED: Thu, 12/29/2011 - 11:28am I agree, men do not worry I agree, men do not worry about emotions and feelings, they look out for number one. Also don't forget the customer, they just want to know that their contractor is going to make it right and address the situation. So as long as you are honest with them and remedy it to their satisfaction, keeping your side of the street clean, whether they stay with you or not, at least you can no you did right by them. I guess what I am learning lately is that we cannot control other's reactions, just our own. Breathe and Grow....

jas

POSTED: Thu, 12/29/2011 - 1:46pm more The job was "completed" in September, but there have been problems ever since. I did get a short reply from the subcontractor that he will call me when he gets back in the office. (but he didn't say when that would be) That is a good sign that at least he is calling back. Diva, you are right, whether I keep this client or not isn't the important thing, the important thing is that I act with integrity and do what is right. I know what is right, now how to have that happen? Breathing and growing...thanks. I look at how to stay feminine, kind, good and yet still hold boundaries, be "tough" when I need to (do I need to be tough? is that the right word/energy?).

Viva la Diva

POSTED: Fri, 12/30/2011 - 1:22pm Diplomat I like to think about being diplomatic. I imagine Margaret Thatcher, or Hillary Clinton....I am NOT bringing up political issues....only noting that whenever they spoke/speak they were assured, doing what they believed to be right and not wearing their heart on their sleeve. They did not waiver. There is a sense of relief that comes from knowing who we are, acting on that and not allowing ourselves to be shaken. These are opportunites for growth which keep arising until we get the lesson we need to learn! As for 'tough', I also like to think of Mary Poppins who coined the phrase "firm but kind". Feminine = strength...it is often in our weakness that we find our true strength. Ok, enough quotes from me, as I write I am being reminded of a few things I too can work on. Thank You!

jas

POSTED: Sat, 12/31/2011 - 8:57am Diplomat Your comments are interesting Viva. Right now I am relaxing into the difficulties. My breath is deep and clear. I'm also seeing things from a bigger perspective. All this is helping. Tuesday I hope to talk with both my business advisor and the subcontractor. So I will know more then. Things will either be ok and work out or they won't. I will keep breathing, keep relaxing with this, and keep acting with as much firm clairty as I can. You support and words are helping me, thank you.

jas

POSTED: Wed, 12/28/2011 - 10:04am thanks Elizabeth and Jean Thanks to both of you, your words and prayers help a great deal. Last night shortly after posting on the forum. I got really calm (which is different for me when I am in one of my emotionally reactive places), later when I sat to pray, what came in was a feeling of really letting go of "my stuff" (you know those crazy places where I/we circle round and round in our head) and focusing on the space around me, the feeling of being within an energy field (which sort of feels like God to me) and a knowing that I could let go into it and things will work out if I just keep letting go into it and trusting it. Elizabeth, I'll look for the book you recomended. Thanks.

Elizabeth G

POSTED: Wed, 12/28/2011 - 9:13pm I thought of you today, Jas I was driving home and saw a nifty, shiny trailer with classy looking font stating "Total Jas - professional lawn, garden and tree care" (not quite verbatim, but something like that) and I thought, Oh how cool if Jas lived here!!

jas

POSTED: Thu, 12/29/2011 - 8:06am thanks Elizabeth Beth, Your note brought a smile to my face and a warm feeling in my heart. I ordered the book you recommended yesterday. I am feeling a new sense of letting go, while doing what needs to be done. I find myself saying, "I can only do what I can do, the rest is up to God/the universe." How are you?

Elizabeth G

POSTED: Tue, 12/27/2011 - 9:06pm Another point of view Jas, have you ever heard of the book "Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office"? I hope you'll check it out, it's got some great advice! You don't have to trust the contractor, you have to trust your own instincts and as a business owner and entrepreneur, do what is right for your business. You're not being a bad guy if you demand that he do the right thing. Think about it - would a man even worry whether he's being nice, or a bad guy? No, his sense of fair play would be his strength, and you need to let it be yours! By the way, I've long admired you for your risk-taking in being a private business owner. I'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best possible outcome for you!

Vintage1944

POSTED: Tue, 12/27/2011 - 5:56pm Dear Jas I will light a candle for guidance for you.I am terribly sorry that happened to you.Your "gut"is one of the most finely tuned I have ever known.You have wisdom and it is talking to you.Being the 'bad guy"is actually being the "right guy"...that is you live your values,principles and moral standards.OXO

Viola

POSTED: Thu, 11/24/2011 - 4:48pm Advice needed I am currently caught up in a cycle of stress-related eating, no time for exercise and then guilty feelings about over-eating and then more stress etc etc. It has now been going on for about a month and I am starting to feel really uncomfortable - I don't want it to become a lifestyle. I know what I am doing wrong, I know my offenders. I guess I just need motivation to break the cycle - but where do I start? How do I motivate myself to get out of this slump? I would appreciate any advice...

vickie2

POSTED: Mon, 11/28/2011 - 12:31pm Hi Viola I know how you feel. When I get stressed, I tend to fall back into bad habits. Mine are eating standing up, mindless eating (eating whatever and eating just because it's there), snacking, and not drinking enough water. I recently just broke this cycle because I noticed that I added a few pounds and was feeling sluggish and bloated. Looking back, I had been been eating some processed foods, not enough vegetables, and too much salt. So, after reviewing Mirielle's cookbook again, I decided that I will eat Magical Breakfast Cream for breakfast for a week and focus on eating just my three meals a day full of vegetables, fruit, fish, an egg or two, and small portions of whole grains, along with lots of water and green tea. Even though it's only been a few days, I have a lot more energy and feel less bloated. Also, what has helped me break the cycle was just how good I felt after just one day of eating this way again.

Viola

POSTED: Tue, 11/29/2011 - 2:35pm Breaking bad habits Vicky, it is as if you described me in your post (the bad habit part).. Thanks for sharing. It is so inspiring to read that you have broken the cycle. I have started this week with my version of the Magical Breakfast cream (basically I add a mix of pumpkin, sesame and flax seeds instead of the oil), and packed a healthy lunch to work. So at least breakfast and lunch are working according to plan. My current problem is snacking at home after a stressfull day. Maybe I should try and do something fun and relaxing before starting with dinner - just to unwind and get myself together before setting foot in the kitchen...

miamoki

POSTED: Mon, 11/28/2011 - 12:16pm start small I love the ideas from Jas! Start small - remember what Mireille says - instead of feeling guilty about not having time for exercise, incorporate it into your day. If you usually take the elevator, take the stairs. Park your car in the furthest spot away from where you're going in the parking lot. If you sit at a desk all day, find reasons to move around if you can. If not, use your water bottles for weights and do some isometrics at your desk. If you are really stressed out - everytime you take a bathroom break...stop yourself and make yourself breathe and take those few minutes to listen to your breathing and relax. It may sound funny but it's amazing how much good it does your body to take just a few minutes and breathe! Good luck and check back with us - we are here for you. Oh one more way to relax - instead of a shower, treat yourself to a bubble bath! Linda

Viola

POSTED: Tue, 11/29/2011 - 2:25pm Starting small Linda, thanks for the advice. I am going to try and find ways to incorporate exercise into my everyday life - every little bit does add up - and it will be easier (and more fun) to do that than to make time for an hour at the gym! I can see my bathroom breaks becoming stress-buster breaks :)

jas

POSTED: Fri, 11/25/2011 - 7:33am Viola So stress, the first thing is breathe, and focus on the Quality of your breath. Every moment where you find your self tense, just stop and breathe. Notice quality, notice what is good right in that moment. Notice the sun or moon, notice people, notice your body and breathe. Breathe with the gratefulness that this is life and it is. Then my favorite piece of advice is Quality with food. So take a banana, a blender, some greens (romaine lettuce, spinach, kale, whatever...) and put those 3 ingredients in the blender. 1 minute later, if you like add sweetener, though it may not need it. Now you have quality breath, quality nourishment. And how else will you nourish yourself during this time?

Viola

POSTED: Tue, 11/29/2011 - 2:15pm Quality of Breath Jas, thanks for your advice. You made me realize that I actually forgot how to breathe properly. Deep, quality, life-giving breaths. I will try and focus on that when I get stressed.

Alicia

POSTED: Wed, 11/09/2011 - 6:16pm Cravings and Portion Control Have any of you found that the leek soup recasting weekend has helped shrink your appetite? I'm finding it hard to stick to smaller portions and when I do, I end up snacking or eating another small meals an hour or so after my meals. Also struggling with cravings/hunger in between meals. I'm at the point where I am thinking about taking an over the counter appetite suppressant but that seems tres unfrench and who knows what's in those things. Any advice would be welcome. Merci!

Vintage1944

POSTED: Thu, 11/10/2011 - 7:52am Hello Alicia We can trust our wonderful Jas to come up with a healthy answer.I think that is great advice.For years I have struggled with the same issue.Handling it better at various times,not so well on others.My thought now,to expand on Jas's idea,is to plan my three meals a day and simply divide them up into smaller portions to meet my needs.At work,due to the inherent stress of the job,I tend to eat more and eat rubbish.Rather than fighting the feelings,feeling guilty and then eating more,I think I will do that.As for the green smoothies,I can't get my head around that.LOL.OXO

Alicia

POSTED: Sun, 11/13/2011 - 10:10pm Thanks Vintage1944 What a great idea to plan your three meals and portion them smaller to meet your needs. Definitely a good way to avoid overconsumption but to feel like you're not going hungry when the cravings hit. I might join you in this strategy. Keep me posted on how it's working for you ;o) xo

Vintage1944

POSTED: Sun, 11/13/2011 - 10:39pm Hi Alicia You are welcome.Yes let's do this together and compare notes.OXO Jean

jas

POSTED: Wed, 11/09/2011 - 7:44pm Alicia Maybe experiment with some different things. First: Trust your body, it is trying to tell you something with your hunger. Are you getting enough nutrients? Are you getting the right amount of protein for you? Are you getting enough water and watery foods? Are you getting enough of the right kind of fat? For me I often find that a green smoothy (greens, bananna, water, and coconut oil) satisfies me. If it doesn't maybe I'm needing more protien, or water, or veggies...There are many reasons your body is telling it needs something. Be gentle with your body, it is your friend. Jas

Alicia

POSTED: Wed, 11/09/2011 - 11:02pm Jas Thanks for your response, I think I need to experiment a little more to find out what will work for me. The green smoothie sounds delicious! Alicia

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