WELL-BEING

Leahrose

POSTED: Thu, 12/30/2010 - 8:29pm

Healthy but Good

I am desperately looking for recipes and cookbooks that are healthy but delicious. I have the added stress of having a twin sister who is currently struggling with eating and body issues. It is nothing serious yet but she refuses to eat any "indulgent" foods, if you will. That's ok; some people just don't, but it is much more than just that for her. Also, she eats only half the amount she really needs. She is super active and is an incredible, athletic dancer. She needs to eat! but she is not and I am scared for her of what it could become. We are all trying to change our ways to more healthy and nutritious (more French:) too - (I already have but I still need to get my dad, especially, on that path) - and I would love some recommendations of cookbooks and such. Please help! I need "Healthy but Good". --Leahrose xoxo
REPLIES 30  (Jump to bottom of page)

Leahrose

POSTED: Sat, 02/19/2011 - 1:31pm

Update

So, its gone a bit downhill since the last time. Its been hard couple of weeks, but she is still in treatment and I have high hopes. We all need a bit of support now.

jas

POSTED: Sun, 02/20/2011 - 10:52am

chiming in

I like what Jean said below...it is so true (for all of us) we are learning new ways of seeing ourselves, of thinking and acting...it is developing new pathways and energy in the body. Finding the tools that help are essential. We are here for each other.

Leahrose

POSTED: Sun, 02/20/2011 - 1:10am

Thanks everyone

its great to know that i have you all during this. One of the hardest parts is that I have to keep this a secret from many people. Not only does it affect Anna, but me as well. I've had some pretty hard times and there is not many that i can go to, beside parents, of course. Thank you all for listening to me and sending your support. We just need prayers now Love to all, Leahrose xoxo

Marilyn

POSTED: Sun, 02/20/2011 - 1:27pm

My dear girl

Never feel alone while we are all here. You are very young to have to bear this burden although I know you shoulder it willingly. Please try to get some help for yourself as well. We will be thinking of you and sending supporting thoughts winging your way.

JSB

POSTED: Sun, 02/20/2011 - 11:16am

Hello Sweet Leahrose

Are you and the rest of your family getting professional support as well?This is too much of a burden for you to carry alone.Anna is your twin right?That makes it a great deal more difficult for you.It is good that you can talk with your parents.Yet it is also helpful to have someone,professional outside the situation to help you see your way clearly.Secrets are destructive.Confidentialy is quite another.I can only reiterate that you MUST,please,please take care of yourself.All of us here are on your side and wish you well.If we can help then don't hesitate to let us know.OXO Jean

Leahrose

POSTED: Sun, 02/20/2011 - 5:06pm

Anna is officially diagnosed

Anna is officially diagnosed with anorexia nervosa and is part of the Melrose clinic's "athletes suffering from eating disorders" program. It is family bases therapy, so we are all in this together. Yes, she is my twin, and my dearest best friend. I have lots of time to talk to my mom, whom i am VERY close with. We talk about anything and everything together and she helps me with this. One of our good friends knows. She is the closest to anna and I and I can talk to her sometimes. Its just hard to find a minute alone to do so. It really helps to be able to talk about this here, with no worry of having it reach the ears of someone anna doesnt want knowing. I just have to get it out, and this really helps. Thank you all a million, again. Is it wrong for me to feel extremely angry with her? cuz thats how I feel. I know its not her- its "ED" as she calls it (Eating Disorder)- but i still get angry with /Anna/. Again, again, again, i cant thank you all enough for your support. It means a LOT to me. Love, Leahrose xoxo

JSB

POSTED: Sun, 02/20/2011 - 5:59pm

First

I am really happy to hear that you are all getting help.Second,it is NOT wrong to feel angry with her.It is normal.What is happening to her impacts you and as your twin that goes very deep,to the genetic/cellular level.Are you identical?I don't recall you saying.This is a complicated problem and I am sure at times she does things that you all feel she could control.Discuss this feeling in the therapy sessions.It's OK to feel what you feel.I know you feel a lot of other things,as well.And what comes shining through ,is your love and deep caring for her.Keep those lines of communication open with your Mom,Dad and your friend.Do you journal?It might help.You can say anything to the paper and never be judged or judge yourself.Glad to have been of some help.And I am here,as we all are,for you.OXO Jean

Leahrose

POSTED: Sun, 02/20/2011 - 9:32pm

twins

No, we are not identical. Our personalities are polar opposites, but I think that that is what makes us so close. I have wanted to journal, but haven't gotten around to doing it. I guess I didn't know what to write... but now I do. Thanks for the idea. I think that it will help, "talking" with myself about what's going on, how I feel, &c. She's the one with the disorder, but we all need help with this emotionally. It's called "Anna's therapy" in the papers, but really it is for all of us. Love, Leahrose xoxox

JSB

POSTED: Sun, 02/20/2011 - 9:56pm

Twins

Even Fraternal twins are especially close.My grandarlings are Fraternal,a boy and a girl.Rowan is shy and careful and Ella is Miss High Social.They fight like cats and dogs but are so close.They can blast away at each other and then have to have a quiet chat before they sleep.It is incredible to watch.I have an understanding of how it must be for you.The journal might be a new friend for you...personal and private.Let me know how it goes.Read your other post and I hope you feel better soon.OXO

Kimberly

POSTED: Sat, 02/19/2011 - 8:50pm

I hope all works out....

it is hard to get back from an extreme like this. It didn't happen overnight and so coming back will not be fast either and sometimes that is ok if in the end she fully understands what is going on and why the behavior needs to change. Just keep being the support she needs.

JSB

POSTED: Sat, 02/19/2011 - 6:56pm

Dear Leahrose

What your sister is dealing with will have its ups and downs.She has to learn a new way of thinking,of seeing herself and others.It is a difficult road for all involved.It can be particularly hard on family.She also is young and dealing with all that means(as you are).You are a wonderful sister and that is a gift for her.In the meantime,please care for yourself,first and foremost.Please come to us anytime for support.OXO Jean

Marilyn

POSTED: Sat, 02/19/2011 - 5:26pm

Support

We are here for you, Leahrose. Don't give up, your sister is so lucky to have you. Take care and don't forget about yourself. xx

Leahrose

POSTED: Wed, 01/19/2011 - 6:12pm

Hallelujah!

Miracles can happen! She is improving!, to say it simply. She is finally understanding that she needs to eat, and though there is still some complaining and resistance, she is trucking through and on her to a clear, straight (and healthy) path. She is seeing a psychologist and will be going this Friday to a council with dietitians and doctors and psychologist, etc. to get her on her way. She has lost a total of 12 lb, most of it muscle mass unfortunately, but she is on the road to recovery. Hopefully, with a little time and food:) she will gain enough back to stay healthy -- forever. I love her and I'm so proud of her. She's has great perseverance, our little (literally) Anna! Thank you for all your support and help, Leahrose xoxo

Marilyn

POSTED: Thu, 01/20/2011 - 7:23am

Little sister

I am so pleased your sister is getting all the help she needs. This means that you can relax. We are all here for you when needed. Take care of yourself and Anna.

JSB

POSTED: Wed, 01/19/2011 - 6:32pm

Oh yes!!

Hallelujah.I am thrilled for you both.Hang in there,as it may still be a little rough yet.But with love and support,she will continue to heal.OXO Jean

jas

POSTED: Sat, 01/08/2011 - 9:16am

The sister

HI Leahrose, what I read in your question really isn't about cookbooks, it is about loving someone with unhealthy stuff going on inside them. The roots are both psychological and physiological. Lot's of us have been there. The movie Black Swan speaks to this. Body Ecology with Donna Gates has been really helpful for my inner healing. Your sister though is the one who will need to be open to her own healing. Let us know how it goes. Jas

JSB

POSTED: Sat, 01/08/2011 - 7:17pm

Jas

Right on point.Each one needs to find her own path,and this young woman is fortunate to have a loving sister to support her.OXO

frenchy

POSTED: Sun, 01/02/2011 - 2:44pm

Williams-Sonoma

This is a great website for recipes that are soooo good. They have a new 30 minute meal planner that you can print out and a blank planner to do your own menu planning as well. This is brand new to the site and it looks fantastic. Each menu item is a link to the recipe and they take 30 minutes! Enjoy! Deborah PS. The Cooking Channel also is a great place to visit for fantastic recipes and a huge great variety of different food types including Laura Calder French Food at Home. Her program is really good to watch.

frenchy

POSTED: Sun, 01/02/2011 - 12:16pm

Hello there

It has been a while since I have been here so let me introduce myself. My name is Deborah and I am currently working on a degree in Nutrition/Biochemical Engineering. I do understand your sister quite well and have some suggestions for you as far as cookbooks go. As for recipes there are some very wonderful websites that give great healthy recipes that are easy to prepare and easy on the wallet as well. Your sister may be built in a way that she can only hold so much food and when she is full has a (as I call it) trap door that slams shut. She may also not be able to eat if she is not hungry. I know this because I am made the exact same way and am very athletic also. I do strength training, swim for cardio 6 days a week and have started running 5k races. I cannot eat if I am not hungry or it will cause me to throw up. When I am satisfied at a meal I am done eating. She may know just how much food works for her and her judgment should be trusted. I rarely eat indugent foods because they don't agree with me physically anymore. Here are some cookbook ideas: Williams-Sonoma Essentials of Healthful Cooking Whole Grains Every Day Every Way The New Vegetarian Epicure From the Olive Grove Mediterrranean Cooking with Olive Oil If you would like more information just let me know and I will be happy to help. Deborah

Leahrose

POSTED: Sun, 01/02/2011 - 4:30pm

I completely understand what

I completely understand what you are saying. She usually is like that (active, not very indulgent [which is perfectly fine], and only eats when she's hungry). The problem is she has admitted to having these body issues and is doing those things to an extreme. She was 5' 3" 120 lbs, and has now lost 8 lbs in 4 months - the doctor has said that she cannot lose another ounce or even 0.1% body fat. I will definitely look into those books and sites for some help. Thank you tons! Just one more quick question- is that one book, just with a really long name?:) There is no punctuation, so i am a bit confused. Cheers, Leahrose

frenchy

POSTED: Sun, 01/02/2011 - 10:30pm

Oops!

I am so sorry about that. And to think I teach English! Here they are by first name of the title with commas to separate. Williams-Sonoma, Whole Grains, The New Vegetarian, From the Olive,. I have others but we will start with those. Ok, here's the thing, she needs to balance her food intake with the energy she expends and there should be the balance of carbs, fat, and protein. Does she have access to this site?

Leahrose

POSTED: Mon, 01/03/2011 - 5:32pm

She does have access, but she

She does have access, but she doesn't like things like this. I SO want her to look at it and I do make small comments peu à peu to teach her things, but she tells me that she has "an aversion to food" at the time being. I'll work with her, though. I'll let you know when she is on the site and willing. Thanks for everything, -leahrose xoxo

Leahrose

POSTED: Thu, 01/06/2011 - 6:19pm

Update

Hello everyone! I just want to give you an update on what is going on: My sister is getting better(Amen!). She still is trying to resist food, but we are getting her to eat. She is slowly realizing that we will not submit to her ways but that she has to follow ours and the doctor's. Speaking of which, she is going to a psychologist periodically and I think that it is helping a lot. Right now, the idea isn't so much as healthy eating, but just getting enough calories. When the times comes, I am so glad that I have Mireilles wisdom and the other info that I have obtained to start leading her on a healthy and nutritious track. Keep her in your prayers, Best Wishes, Leahrose xoxo

JSB

POSTED: Fri, 01/07/2011 - 7:24pm

Hi Leahrose

Thanks for the update.I am happy your sister is doing better.And I am positive having such a loving sister,as you are, has been a major ontribution.She is most certainly in my healing thoughts and she is on my mind when I light the Healing candle every evening.OXO Jean

Marilyn

POSTED: Fri, 01/07/2011 - 6:01am

So pleased

So pleased to hear that your sister is realising she has to eat to live. She must also realise that if she wants to follow her dancing dreams she needs energy which she can only get from the correct food. Hopefully the psychologist will help her to understand this. My thoughts are with you. You are very young to have to shoulder this so please use us for any support you need. Take care.

Leahrose

POSTED: Sat, 01/01/2011 - 2:21pm

Thank you

Thanks you so much for all the help, ladies. Yes, it is important to keep yourself healthy before you can help others. Thanks for the reminder. All of your ideas sound fabulous and I will definitely look into them. Take care, leahrose xoxo

JSB

POSTED: Fri, 12/31/2010 - 8:32am

Hi Leahrose

That's a big burden you are carrying.Please take care of you first.There are the cookbooks by Martha Rose Shulman.I like the Mediterranean Light one a lot.Jamie Oliver's approach is also health focused.I have the one MrsHonniB mentioned and it is fun.Any receipe from Mireille's books are wonderful.Good luck and take care.OXO Jean

Marilyn

POSTED: Fri, 12/31/2010 - 11:57am

So agreeing

You must look after yourself first to keep healthy to watch out for others.
Mireille's cookery book is good but go online and check out Jamie Oliver, Rick Stein, Mary Berry. Italian and French recipes are good. You can get Taste Italia Magazine on line for recipes, I have it in my favourites. There is no need to spend money on loads of books if you have access to the internet and a printer. Also I have used some of the recipes on this site, especially the salads and soups. Bonne chance, ma petite.

MrsHonniB

POSTED: Fri, 12/31/2010 - 3:12am

Mediterranean women

stay slim too - eating to be sexy, fit and fabulous by Melissa Kelly is another cookbook I like!

Viva la Diva

POSTED: Fri, 12/31/2010 - 10:32am

I second Jean: Take care of

I second Jean: Take care of yourself first. We simply cannot do for others what they ought to do for themselves. Although there is something truly healing about food especially when it brings everyone to the table. There are many different levels of nourishment. I love Mireille's recipes, so easy, simple, fulfilling and delicious. I also like Food To live By. It mainly uses vegetables! Keep us informed and let us know how you are doing...ps I have a friend whose daughter is a ballerina and she has to keep her weight down, as it is her craft....It is all a season....


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